So guess what happened when I stepped on the scale this morning? I am now in the 180's can you believe it? I've lost a total of 77 pounds. Which to me just seems to be amazing! I can't believe that I've come this far. I don't have any recent pictures to put up - but I'm hoping that I might be able to get some soon to put up on my blog. I know it's weird to say this but I don't look anything like the picture that is up for my profile. I'm still working out. Doing lots of training, running, eating right, getting enough sleep and taking care of myself. There are times that I feel like I'm working way too much - but I think that is just a fact of life at this point. I'm looking forward to Easter this coming sunday I asked my mom if we could do a family picture. I would really like to have a family picture that is current. My sister AJ and I have changed so much in a year. So has my niece IV. She has just bloomed into this beautiful little girl. She can count to 3 now! I heard her do it myself! I'm so proud of her! She is a wonderful blessing that I think was made just for me! I'm planning on going 4 wheeling on Saturday with a few friends from my wheeling club. I can't wait to get out and enjoy wheeling in the last of the snow. Maybe I'll find a cute dress that actually fits me for Easter Sunday? Well I better get to bed! I'm a tired girl! Write when you all have time I miss everyone!
MJ
*Also I just want to thank all of you who have reached out to me and sent me comments about the rough times that I've had during my weight loss and it's kind of a weird feeling when things come up like that because I look at it as no matter what I should be happy about my weight loss; but when people do things to tear you down it's just so hard to swallow? It's very hard for me to figure out who are my friends and who are not? It just seems like sometimes people push hard to make things into a competition. I just want to put it out there ... I'm not competing with anyone. I'm getting healthy for myself and my family that I currently have been blessed with and my family in the future - meaning my child/children. I want you all to know how much your support means to me and that I can put myself out there and say what is going on with me. It means a lot! I think change is hard. I mean in general change is hard for all of us; no matter what the change is - for example becoming a parent, starting an adoption, paper chasing, waiting for a referral, losing weight, moving, changing jobs, traveling for your adoption, waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, we are all changing all at times and trying to deal with the roller coasters of our lives no matter what stage we are in. I think the fact of having people to reach out to you for you to lean on and reach back to makes all the difference. The other thing that helps me as an individual is prayer - the fact that it changes me and opens me up to new ways of thinking and lets me vent. I think venting helps me because when others identify with what I'm going through it helps me realize that I'm not alone or isolated which is one of the things that gets people down. I just want to say that I enjoy all of my fellow bloggers. The highs and the lows and reading all about their trials and tribulations. It's great to have all of you as friends. Hope you are doing well!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
03.08.08 - Wheeling weekend in Danbury, Wisconsin
This is last weekend - I went up with a group of friends to Danbury, Wisconsin to go 4 wheeling for the whole weekend!
Danbury, WI 03.08.08
We had a good time! I spent two Saturdays in a row up in Danbury, Wisconsin 4 wheeling. I had a great time this weekend and we had great weather. A little cold for some but I dressed super warm and stayed warm even after the sun went down. If you ever get to go to Danbury it's a great little tourist spot. It was really a fun place to stay! Hope you are all doing well. Thanks for all the comments, thoughts, and responses to what is going on with me!
Danbury, WI 03.08.08
We had a good time! I spent two Saturdays in a row up in Danbury, Wisconsin 4 wheeling. I had a great time this weekend and we had great weather. A little cold for some but I dressed super warm and stayed warm even after the sun went down. If you ever get to go to Danbury it's a great little tourist spot. It was really a fun place to stay! Hope you are all doing well. Thanks for all the comments, thoughts, and responses to what is going on with me!
Open Trails ATV Club Ride in Danbury, Wisconsin
3/1/08 Open Trails ATV Club Ride in Danbury, Wisconsin
Here are a few pictures from club ride!
Danbury, WI - Open Trails ATV Club Ride 3.1.08
Incase the above slide show doesn't work here's another link:
http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562746219CTCxmO
Here are a few pictures from club ride!
Danbury, WI - Open Trails ATV Club Ride 3.1.08
Incase the above slide show doesn't work here's another link:
http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562746219CTCxmO
Sunday, March 9, 2008
More Thoughts...
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. So....
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
I've been thinking so much about my changing life lately. My choices are changing. My thoughts are changing. My goals are changing. My actions represent all of these things. I feel older lately, seeing the larger picture of why I do the things that I do such as working out, eating healthy, and my focus of working hard towards my goals. The other distractions just seem to be fading the the wayside. I notice little things like when music is too loud. I like going to bed on time. I like getting rest and treating myself well. I like it when I drink enough water and eat on schedule. I feel more balanced. While I enjoy spending time with my friends - my family is more my main focus. The other main thing that I focus on is 4 wheeling because I feel like every time I go riding I learn something new about the sport/past time of wheeling. However there are moments in life where you start to see things differently than you always did and you just wonder how those new thoughts and views might be leading you down a new path. Although maybe I was already going down the new path and my life had already begun to change and I just hadn't realized how different my path is from those around me - until now? I guess it's just in my nature to over analyze things. I don't really mean to be that kind of person who watches for change in others and in myself; but I tend to be one of those people who really sees situations. Sometimes this is a blessing and other times it's a curse. The ability to watch a situation and see people's motivations on how they treat you or how things are being viewed is a hard pill to swallow at times. About a month or so ago.... I was feeling really excited about my weight loss and I'd fit into a little skirt - it fit and it was so cute and I was so proud of how beautiful my legs looked and how shapely my body looked and that the size 13 little skirt fit me. I mean I wasn't that small in middle school! So I never got to wear cute little things like that when I was younger because I was quite the big girl then as well. I mean when I started out on this weight loss change I was a mere 35 pounds from 3 bills. Which is just unhealthy! So back to the skirt ... the skirt is a little plaid pleated skirt a hand me down from my sister. I loved said skirt and paired it w/ a long sleeved white dress shirt and a black sweater over it. Then tights under the skirt - black opaque - because I knew the skirt was short. Then cute little Mary Jane low (1 1/2) heels. I wore the outfit to work and got compliments on how it was very cute! After going to the gym I stopped by my sister's and she had said she thought it was way too short for work ... so I said to myself that is okay I just won't wear it again to the office. After stopping at my sister's I went to my ATV club meeting and a few of the women - who I thought were great friends - were pointing and whispering about my skirt. I guess I might have thought I was imagining things but I heard my name. So what confuses me is that when other people watch me change on the outside and maybe someone like me wants to wear something that I might not have gotten to wear when I was younger, why and how do I become the object of ridicule? Are people sick of me changing? Are they just cold? Are they insecure? And when there are others that are 'suppose' to be close to you seem bent on making you feel like you don't fit in? How is it that you should react to all of these changes and their choices? I guess I just keep praying, moving forward in my life - but I keep praying that my feet don't fail me now because I am trying to focus so hard on my own goals and let go of the people who stop and stare. I've become what I thought I couldn't be ... I've worked hard to forget about what's fair in life and just keep working, focusing in on myself and my goals. I think I'm moving on, but I don't know where. I've started to wonder why I'm here and not there where others are in their paths. I know that everyone gets scared and maybe that is the point that I'm at? Steady hands just take the wheel and steer me away from the fear. It's scary becoming what you thought you never could be and overcoming obstacles that seemed impossible. Sometimes I wonder if others can see what I see? Sometimes things pull my focus away and I stand in doubt of myself. It's one of those things about me that I don't like, but maybe everyone has these moments? I don't know? Change is a glorious, wonderful, and scary journey. I guess I just hope that others know that change in any and all forms in our lives is a miracle; and never an easy feat no matter which part of the change you are on ... the person changing or the person watching someone you love or care about change.
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
I've been thinking so much about my changing life lately. My choices are changing. My thoughts are changing. My goals are changing. My actions represent all of these things. I feel older lately, seeing the larger picture of why I do the things that I do such as working out, eating healthy, and my focus of working hard towards my goals. The other distractions just seem to be fading the the wayside. I notice little things like when music is too loud. I like going to bed on time. I like getting rest and treating myself well. I like it when I drink enough water and eat on schedule. I feel more balanced. While I enjoy spending time with my friends - my family is more my main focus. The other main thing that I focus on is 4 wheeling because I feel like every time I go riding I learn something new about the sport/past time of wheeling. However there are moments in life where you start to see things differently than you always did and you just wonder how those new thoughts and views might be leading you down a new path. Although maybe I was already going down the new path and my life had already begun to change and I just hadn't realized how different my path is from those around me - until now? I guess it's just in my nature to over analyze things. I don't really mean to be that kind of person who watches for change in others and in myself; but I tend to be one of those people who really sees situations. Sometimes this is a blessing and other times it's a curse. The ability to watch a situation and see people's motivations on how they treat you or how things are being viewed is a hard pill to swallow at times. About a month or so ago.... I was feeling really excited about my weight loss and I'd fit into a little skirt - it fit and it was so cute and I was so proud of how beautiful my legs looked and how shapely my body looked and that the size 13 little skirt fit me. I mean I wasn't that small in middle school! So I never got to wear cute little things like that when I was younger because I was quite the big girl then as well. I mean when I started out on this weight loss change I was a mere 35 pounds from 3 bills. Which is just unhealthy! So back to the skirt ... the skirt is a little plaid pleated skirt a hand me down from my sister. I loved said skirt and paired it w/ a long sleeved white dress shirt and a black sweater over it. Then tights under the skirt - black opaque - because I knew the skirt was short. Then cute little Mary Jane low (1 1/2) heels. I wore the outfit to work and got compliments on how it was very cute! After going to the gym I stopped by my sister's and she had said she thought it was way too short for work ... so I said to myself that is okay I just won't wear it again to the office. After stopping at my sister's I went to my ATV club meeting and a few of the women - who I thought were great friends - were pointing and whispering about my skirt. I guess I might have thought I was imagining things but I heard my name. So what confuses me is that when other people watch me change on the outside and maybe someone like me wants to wear something that I might not have gotten to wear when I was younger, why and how do I become the object of ridicule? Are people sick of me changing? Are they just cold? Are they insecure? And when there are others that are 'suppose' to be close to you seem bent on making you feel like you don't fit in? How is it that you should react to all of these changes and their choices? I guess I just keep praying, moving forward in my life - but I keep praying that my feet don't fail me now because I am trying to focus so hard on my own goals and let go of the people who stop and stare. I've become what I thought I couldn't be ... I've worked hard to forget about what's fair in life and just keep working, focusing in on myself and my goals. I think I'm moving on, but I don't know where. I've started to wonder why I'm here and not there where others are in their paths. I know that everyone gets scared and maybe that is the point that I'm at? Steady hands just take the wheel and steer me away from the fear. It's scary becoming what you thought you never could be and overcoming obstacles that seemed impossible. Sometimes I wonder if others can see what I see? Sometimes things pull my focus away and I stand in doubt of myself. It's one of those things about me that I don't like, but maybe everyone has these moments? I don't know? Change is a glorious, wonderful, and scary journey. I guess I just hope that others know that change in any and all forms in our lives is a miracle; and never an easy feat no matter which part of the change you are on ... the person changing or the person watching someone you love or care about change.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
ATV Fun Anyone?
Well this is my first attempt at riding in the winter of Minnesota with my 4 wheeler!
Open Trails ATV Club ride in Chatfield, MN on 2/16/08.
I'm the girl in the brown carharts on the red wheeler - check out my pictures! I hope that you like them! I had a great time in the snow even though we were out all day in the snow and we only went about 10 miles - let's just say we got stuck a whole bunch and ended up having to .... help each other out! Teamwork is the key!
http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562536652cQAkEf
*I am not sure how to post the actual slide show on my blog like everyone else does with all their pictures - so sorry about that if it doesn't work just use the link above and it will take you to my webshots pages.
Chatfield Ride 02.16.08
Open Trails ATV Club ride in Chatfield, MN on 2/16/08.
I'm the girl in the brown carharts on the red wheeler - check out my pictures! I hope that you like them! I had a great time in the snow even though we were out all day in the snow and we only went about 10 miles - let's just say we got stuck a whole bunch and ended up having to .... help each other out! Teamwork is the key!
http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562536652cQAkEf
*I am not sure how to post the actual slide show on my blog like everyone else does with all their pictures - so sorry about that if it doesn't work just use the link above and it will take you to my webshots pages.
Chatfield Ride 02.16.08
Thinking about Life...
I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place & I spill things a lot. I’m pretty clumsy & sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends & I sometimes fight & maybe some days nothing goes right but when I think about it & take a step back. I remember how amazing life truly is & that maybe just maybe I like being unperfect.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Inspired by my Grandma...
Cherokee Indian Legend
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~
I got the above email from my Grandma. After stewing so long about my situation and then finally coming to terms with it last night and posting on my blog about the way that I was feeling it's been a total relief. Like now that I said what was bothering me and how I was feeling about my situation - I don't feel so stressed about it anymore. The email from my Grandma just seemed to fit; because for a while now I've felt like the little guy with the blindfold not sure where this is going? Not really sure where I'm at - I mean I know what I dream about or what I'd like to happen but it's like seeing a path when it's snowy and drifting. For those of you who are not native Minnesotans I don't know what to tell you imagine HUGE Snow that has drifted to block the path you thought you'd be taking.... maybe I just need to have some faith that it's all going to work out that I'm just suppose to be taking more time than most people.
Lost another pound this morning! That was exciting! Well I'm taking my lunch break to write this blog post. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know I've checked Carey and Norman's blog a couple of times today to see what's going on with them and there hasn't been any word yet that I've seen! I hope and pray that everything is going alright with their little girl.
Thanks for listening!
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~
I got the above email from my Grandma. After stewing so long about my situation and then finally coming to terms with it last night and posting on my blog about the way that I was feeling it's been a total relief. Like now that I said what was bothering me and how I was feeling about my situation - I don't feel so stressed about it anymore. The email from my Grandma just seemed to fit; because for a while now I've felt like the little guy with the blindfold not sure where this is going? Not really sure where I'm at - I mean I know what I dream about or what I'd like to happen but it's like seeing a path when it's snowy and drifting. For those of you who are not native Minnesotans I don't know what to tell you imagine HUGE Snow that has drifted to block the path you thought you'd be taking.... maybe I just need to have some faith that it's all going to work out that I'm just suppose to be taking more time than most people.
Lost another pound this morning! That was exciting! Well I'm taking my lunch break to write this blog post. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know I've checked Carey and Norman's blog a couple of times today to see what's going on with them and there hasn't been any word yet that I've seen! I hope and pray that everything is going alright with their little girl.
Thanks for listening!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Update 3/2/08
First off let me say I'm sorry that I haven't updated my blog in so long! I really miss all of you! I guess I'm at a rough patch. I am at the new job where I'm learning so much and working all the time. I can't believe how much information I've soaked up since I started and things that I'd have never even thought about that are now second nature to me. I'm working a whole lot of hours and I started school in Feb and then I'm trying to fit in training sessions with EV to lose the last part of my weight - I've lost 75 pounds at this point and I've got another 25 pounds left to go. My weight loss has definitely slowed due to the stress of the new job, school, and just generally I'm tired - more than I was before because I've got a further drive and more that I'm responsible for at the offices. I'm happy, but I still haven't met a special guy - which I thought I might if I lost weight - not that I was depending on that because I'm not I'm just concerned that with the new job to make more money to be able to afford to adopt; will I have enough time for a child and the thought of that just stresses me to the max because I took the job so that I could work towards affording the adoption and now I'm sitting in the position that I'm concerned if I'll be able to have the time even if I can afford to adopt? Does that make sense? So I'm just worried at this point. Worried about making the right decisions and the fact that I miss working with my sister and baby IV - and what makes matters worse is when I do get time to go and visit AJ, EV and IV - if I leave the room for a minute or go out of IV's sight she bawls and cries and literally has a meltdown and it's just as bad if I leave to go home to my house. Which makes me feel like the world's most evil auntie! Here is a picture of her when she was very happy! I'd just given her a bath and was getting her all jammied up! 
I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much!
Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78
Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.
Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -
Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo
I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much! Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78
Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.
Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -
Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
