Incase you were wondering ....

I'm trying to gather my current financial information together so I can submit my application to CHI by Friday. I just want to say right now that I'm terrified about the money. While that is the only part that I'm scared about - it's what has kept me from applying before now anyway. So if you get a post from me saying that I'm going to wait another month because I'm just terrified of the cost or what if I am not elligible for any grants etc etc .... - I know that it's going to take a leap of faith, I just have to take a deep breathe and jump right? I've been praying every single day about this ... please Lord show me the path that I'm suppose to be taking. Thanks for listening folks :)

Does anyone know how I can start a fund for people to donate or for me to put money into as I save for my adoption? Do I need a non profit or a tax id number? Just wondering? Let me know?
MJ

Research on an International Adoption Doctor :)

Minnesota International Adoption Clinic

University of Minnesota
International Adoption Clinic
Dr. Dana Johnson
420 Delaware Street NE, Box 211
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55455
Tel: 612-626-2928 FAX: 612/624-8176


So after some searching on the internet - I found an international adoption doctor, plus while this doctor won't be close to where I live. The doctor will be about an hour or so away from my home. So that is good :) - now onto the search for a pediatrician. Hope you are all having a good day!
MandyJo

Oh and on the bright side :) of my research today it looks like they have a list of pediatricians who have experience with International Adoptions at the same place ... I'm adding the link because I don't really know if there might be some others in my area who might need the same information that I've been looking up! Here is the link to the doctor's page that I've found. http://www.umphysicians.umn.edu/clinics_objectname_Pediatrics_International_Adoption_C.html

Adoption Credit

Adopting in 2007? Your Tax Credit Just Got Increased! WOOHOO!!

Good news for those who are adopting or finalizing an adoption in 2007:
The Federal Adoption Tax Credit limit is being increased to $11,390 for a child with special needs and the maximum credit allowed for other types of adoptions has also been raised to $11,390.
You can exclude this tax credit from your gross income for qualifed adoption expenses paid or incurred by your employer under a qualified adoption assistance program in connection with your adoption of an eligible child. The credit begins to phase out if you have modified adjusted gross income of $170,820 or more and is completely phased out if you have modified adjusted gross income of $210,820 or more.

I read this on someone's blog and thought that we could all benifit from thinking about this - which means tracking our adoption expenses and making sure that we know where our money is going, taking care of ourselves financially helps us to provide for our families. Love to you all... MandyJo

Quotes from the Bible...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phillipians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Lifestyle Changes & my Adoption...

Well I just had to share with you all that I've lost 11 lbs since I started training w/ my Brother EV (AJ's husband & IV's dad!) I'm so excited. I have to admit that I've always struggled with my weight & part of my committing to the adoption, was that I refused to pass down my bad habits to a child who needs me to be the best mom that I can be. So I'm very proud of myself because I want to be the best parent that I can be and I'm working on it and seeing real results. It feels so good to see and feel things coming together.

Other highlights...
Adrienne - wrote a very touching blog that I really enjoyed reading! Oh and Owen is so cute & the developments are amazing! Great job to the new parents!
Nathan and Melissa are in court today for little I so keep them in your prayers!
Congrats to Becky and Keith who decided Kras was the place where their little peanut is waiting for them!
To Sira - Max is getting cuter and bigger with each and every post! I'm glad that he likes preschool!

On another note - I told one of my neighbors that I was thinking about adoption and she came down on me like a ton of bricks on how hard it was going to be & how I was way too young & how I had no idea how expensive it would be & that it was definitely something that she didn't think that I could handle on my own. I have to say that I was crushed by her reaction thinking that she'd be happy for me and she just really looked disappointed more than anything. I know I shouldn't think about this ... but would her reaction have been different if I was married & wanted a child? I guess I should prepare myself for more reactions like the one I got last night. It's just disheartening to know that there are people out there who would deny me adopting because of how hard it's going to be and all of the negatives vs. the positives that yes while it might be very hard & I might have to do more on my own - I would be making a difference in the life of a child who might not otherwise have a chance at a life with a real parent, a real home, a grandma & grandpa, an aunt, an uncle, a sweet cousin (IV) and two great grandmothers, a great grandfather and a loving family. Here is the other positive I have always wanted to be a parent. It's just something I've known that I was always meant to be. I think at this point I'm going to have to take the leap of faith and know that not everyone out there is going to be supportive and I'll just have to deal with it as it comes and roll with the punches.

To all the people who read my blog - Thanks for all your support it means so much to me.

Russia Accreditation Process Proceeds...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Russia Accreditation Process Proceeds
Children's Hope received news that eight international adoption agencies, seven based in the U.S. and one in France, received their accreditation in Russia on Wednesday, July 4. Although Children's Hope was not one of the first accredited, we welcome this information and are excited the accreditation process has finally begun!

As the accreditation process proceeds, we will be notified of the timetable for the next batch of agencies to be accredited. New updates will be released as specific official information is received.

Sue Ellison
Russia Program Director


While I know that quite a few of my blog friends keep me updated on the accreditation progress of Russia. I know that some of my family reads my blog and might be interested to know that Russia is sending out accreditation to adoption agencies and I'm hoping and praying that CHI will be next in line. I copied the above update from the CHI website. Hope this post finds everyone happy and healthy! - MandyJo

Daydreaming of a nursery ...

Work has just been horrible today. My boss is so crabby and really we aren't that busy - it's a beautiful day outside! I just wish I could get out of here and go do something fun! Like shopping, 4 wheeling, gardening ... anything just out of the office. So instead of focusing on the crabbiness ... I've decided to take a few minutes and dream of better things... take a look let me know what you think?

Oh and for all of you that are waiting ... if you want the website ... it's www.kidsline.com

Reading on Adoption...

I started to read this book last night it's from Amazon.com and it's called Adopting On Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adoption for Single Parents by Lee Varon. It's an amazing book and I can't believe how much information is packed in between these pages and questions that I've been thinking about and that I've been asked by the people in my life are all right there in the book. I know that most of the people out there are probably adopting as a married couple, but if anyone knows someone who is single and looking to adopt, I'd recommend this book to them. It has such a wealth of information and also it's written by a woman who adopted as a single parent. I'm hoping to finish up with this book in a week or two and start on this book: The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption - so that I'll have some material read and researched under my belt before I turn in my application. I usually don't have internet access on the weekends - so if you don't hear from me that is why leave me any comments or messages and I'll get back to you as soon as I can... Hopefully all of you will have a great weekend! MandyJo

The Light of my Life....

Okay - I've talked on my blog about my sister's baby IV - well here she is - her initials are IVA - and I always refer to her as IV. She is my neice and I love her very much. She wore this cute little outfit that I got her today! So I thought that you all might like to see who I'm bragging about. She turned 7 months old today! I've been spending quite a bit of time with my family & her dad EV is my personal trainer. My sister AJ has lost all her baby weight and is just looking beautiful. I'm so happy for her. Now I need to be getting in shape so I can be a good parent for my child to be. I hope to be posting new and improved Manda - pics in a few weeks. Hopefully those who are waiting for their babies will see IV and smile! Oh and the picture was taken today at the office. AJ brings IV to work everyday. She is a delight to have at the office. Have a great day! - MandaJo

Where I'm at ...

I've been asked a couple of times where I'm at in the process. Well I'm in a holding pattern so to speak. I promised myself at the beginning of this journey that before I took a leap of faith and submitted my application to CHI - that I would do research. Spend time alone. Think about life. Pray. Make goals for myself. Enjoy life as a single person. Make sure that I'm making the right decision. That I'm not jumping in with both feet before knowing that I can do this - without planning anything. So I promised myself I would wait until August 1st, 2007 to submit my application. So that would mean I've waited and thought about the adoption for six whole months. I'm sure that some people are like Amanda - what are you waiting for? Here's the little catch though - I know that adoption is the right thing for me. I know it in my heart. I know that there is a child who is meant for me - probably not even been born yet. I'm just a scared. I'm scared of how on earth am I going to pay for this? Where will the money come from? What if I can't figure out the money during the adoption? Maybe this is because I'm alone that I'm worried about these things? Actually it may sound silly, but I'm not worried about any other part of my adoption, but the cost. I'm not worried about a baby that won't sleep, I'm not worried about diapers, teething, or tantrums. I'm not worried about baby food on my walls or spilling juice on the floor. I'm not worried about messy baby room or lots of laundry or staying in on Saturday night watching a disney movie. I'm not worried about missing 4 wheeling - my mom has already decided once a month it's going to be Grandma and the baby day - so I can have a little bit of time to myself once a month. So I guess I started this blog to meet people and share experiences and see if there are other people in my shoes so to speak who've taken the leap of faith and it's worked out for them? I was out on Saturday with my mom and I went to this small shop/store it's called wooden hearts & I found a sign that I love and I bought it ....
On the sign it reads:
God doesn't give us what we can handle
God helps us handle what we are given.
I pray in my heart of hearts that this statement is true, because I'm going to submit my application and pray that I figure out a way to make it all come together. I appreciate all the support that I get from those of you that read my blog & a special thanks to Sira - for inspiring this post.

okay frustrated...

So I can make it work with my blog posts - just not with the profile part :( - The picture shown below is one I did for my last boyfriend ... obviously ex boyfriend because I'm single now. I just did some really cute pictures for him. I like them so I thought I'd use them for my profile... well if anyone has any ideas let me know!
MandaJo

Can't figure out ... putting a profile image?

So all of you professional bloggers out there - is there a certain trick to getting a profile picture up? I've not had any luck? I wanted to get a picture of me up there so that everyone will know what I look like because I'm always reading their blogs .. but I've not had any luck... any pointers please share .... MandaJo

Bedtime

Okay folks ....
I've been online way too late tonight - but I wanted to get the story of how I got here to be put down somewhere so that I won't forget and hopefully I'll be able to tell my child someday how God lead me to the road that lead me to adopting. I hope you all enjoy reading my blog. I know I love blogging. I also enjoy all of the blogs that I read too! So if you are on my list at the bottom of my page kudos to you. Night and sweet dreams!

P.S. I'm hoping that I can do my nursery in Ladybugs like this one from kidsline.com? What do you all think? Let me know?

How this all came about - #2....

A few days later I was picking up MJ (who is MK's little sister) from swimming lessons, and in the locker room there was a beautiful little girl sitting right next to us. The little girl must've been about 2-3yrs old and her mom was getting her ready for her first swimming lesson. MJ who is six noticed that her mom and the little girl didn't match.... ( the little girl was dark Haitian w/ braids & the mom was caucasian). MJ spoke maybe a little too loud and the mom overheard and as I was saying sorry about that - the mom said no we just adopted her from Haiti. She is going to her first swimming lesson. I explained to MJ that when a child is adopted it doesn't always look like the parents. The mom was explaining about the adoption and where they went to MJ and MJ was just soaking it up like a little sponge. The mom was saying how beautiful MJ was and how much she looked like me and MJ laughed and said Manda isn't my mom but she's beautiful like me. MJ reached out and held my hand. I told the mom that I was the nanny and she said she would've never known because we look alike and I'm so good w/ MJ and I thanked her for the compliment and told her how sweet and beautiful her daughter was. I told her that I loved the braids and wondered if my neice IV would have braids like that. IV's dad is from Kenya and my sister fell in love on study abroad. They got married and had IV and I always dream of what she'll look like when she gets older. We got ready to go and said good bye and good luck and it dawned on me that this was the third thing that had happened in a matter of weeks that had pointed towards adoption. It was the week of my 29th birthday also, which I was dreading because I'd always dreamed of being married with children at this point in my life. So the next day at work at lunch time - I started searching online for adoption information. I looked on the BBB website and found an agency - but after contacting them I found out that they didn't do Russian adoptions. That agency pointed me to CHI - Children's Hope International. I sent an email out to the contact in my area - Ali & low and behold she emailed me back later that day. The email let me know that they did take singles to adopt & that I was in the age range where I'd be elligible. She said they had a meeting this coming Saturday not but 15 minutes from my house. Funny enough my Saturday plans had just cancelled that morning. So nervous I didn't know what to do with myself I dressed on Saturday morning and drove to the meeting. I was the only single person there and I felt - out of place - not because of anything anyone said or did - but seriously - I thought children need 'parents' not just a parent. Through the whole meeting I was soaking everything in and Ali told us how they had single people who adopted. I was sad to hear that China & Columbia were both closed to singles. (Technically Columbia will let single women adopt but the child has to be 8 yrs old!) For me an 8 yr old isn't an option incase I don't get married one day. So after the meeting - I stayed after and talked to Ali about all kinds of things. Why I wanted to adopt? What interested me in adoption? How this all came about? How I'd always dreamed of being a parent. How I nanny all the time, and I love the kids chaos and all! She said to me ... something I'd never dreamed of hearing .... Amanda ... did you ever think that maybe God was preparing you for the child that you were meant to have? I never thought of it that way but maybe she's right in the past 18 years I've watched so many children I don't know if I'd be able to count them all? At one point I know it was for more than 20+ families. Children have always been such a huge part of my life, maybe that is why on my birthday I was feeling such disappointment with where I was at in my life? I'd always thought that if I didn't hurry up and find prince charming there would be no babies in my future. At this turning point in my life - I've realized that it's okay now if prince charming is taking his sweet old time. I think that God has a plan for me and he's been giving me the signs and pointing me in the right directions. All I need to do is follow his lead and let him show me the way. So after talking to my mom and my sister both and getting wonderful heartfelt reactions from both of them. I talked to my pastor at church. I've talked to a counsler. I've talked to a few friends and now I've made new ones on the blogs. I went and applied for my passport and got it last month. At this point I have all the paperwork that I need to fill out, the only thing I'm scared of is the financial side of the adoption? How will I afford the cost? Where will the money come from? I think that is the only thing holding me back from filing the paperwork tomorrow.

That's all for now feel free to comment or send me your advice.... love - Amanda

How this all came about ...

Someone asked me a few days ago - how this all came about for me. So I thought I might add a little bit of my story to this blog to remember how everything did come about.

Back in January - which may seem like a long time ago at this point - I went on a weekend hockey trip with one of the girls I nanny for while her parents were in Australia. While there at the hockey tournament, I was watch a game and a nice woman sat down beside me with a beautiful baby. Well if any of you know me I just couldn't resist talking to the baby & then the mother. We were talking about the hockey game and the girls playing - her daughter was playing on the team against MK's team (the little girl that I nanny for). So she was asking me about my daughter and I confessed how much I love MK, but she's not mine and I am only her nanny. Then I was asking about her daughter and then came to ask about her other children and she said she had a son who was 12 and her daughter was 9 - MK's same age. I laughed to myself and said something about how's it going with a baby and two older kids that you have to run around so much. She said that her baby was an unexpected blessing. I laughed again and I said 'oh an oops baby' she said: no she's adopted. She told me the story of the baby's mother who was young and not able to take care of the baby & she and her family felt it was a sign from God that they were meant to adopt. She and I sat talking enjoying the game. She asked again about MK & how she couldn't believe she wasn't my little girl. She said that as much as I loved children she couldn't believe I didn't have any of my own. I laughed a bit and said - well you know Prince Charming is around here somewhere, but he just keeps forgetting to answer his phone. She asked if I had someone special in my life and I admitted that I didn't. She said that is too bad. I told her how much I enjoyed talking to her and how beautiful her baby was and we parted ways. That was my first sign I just didn't know it yet....
That same weekend MK & I made friends w/ a mom and her daughter. We spent a fair amount of time with them because the girls both play defense for hockey. They MK & J - got on so well that it was just a great time all around. So when we came back from the hockey trip, I spoke to MK's mom and said J is a really nice little girl we should have her over for a play date. Since I nanny part time - I came back a week or so later and MK was really giving me a rough time that night. Not listening, not going to bed, just general behavior from a 9 year old who doesn't always like to cooperate. I'd gotten her into bed and honestly to let all of you know I'd just about had my limit & I'm one of the most patient people I know when it comes to children. All though I sometimes say that God sent me MK so that I would learn to go beyond my limits & this was one of those nights. MK was finally in bed, w/ teeth brushed, gone potty, and kisses. As I go to shut the lights out she says she has a big secret to tell me and I'm thinking - she's stalling. So I tell her that she would be more than welcome to let me know in the morning but it's past her bedtime and she needs to go to sleep. So then she starts begging about how it's a big secret and she can't tell anyone she promised. It's about J her new friend - that she just got to have a play date with the other day. At this point I'm worried thinking oh no - if I don't listen and it's something horrible. I'm not protecting the child. For all I know it could be something ... horrible. So against my better judgement, I turn the lights on and go back into the bedroom and sit on MK's bed. She tells me about her play date and how J told her a secret and that I have to promise not to tell. Sighs.... This is one of those adult moments where I promise, but I was thinking I'm not really promising if it's something horrible. So she goes on to tell me that J is adopted. That if J wants to tell someone she can't but if she doesn't want to tell someone then she doesn't have to. MK felt so special that J - her new friend had picked her to share this with. I thought the same thing. Wow! She told you it's great! Then I asked MK what she thought about J being adopted? This is what I got...... Well Manda - I think it's special. Cuz J needed a family and now she has a great one. MK goes onto say.. Manda - I've been thinking about you and how much you love all of us ... (her sisters MM & MJ) and even though you are a part of our family. If you ever wanted a family of your own... I think you should get an adopt-a-kid. MK goes on to say... You are so good to us and you love us so much .... you'd make a great mom for someone who needed one. At this point I'm struggling not to burst into tears and there were tears rolling down my face. MK hugged me and I told her I loved her and thanks for letting me know how she thought I'd be a great parent, but I told her that I didn't think that I made enough money to adopt a child. Then ... she looked me straight in the eye and said "Manda - don't worry we'll figure out a way to get you the money to get an adopt-a-kid." Now this and all of this coming from a child who I love to death but can test my patience better than anyone I know! Can you believe it? So I said good night to MK and tucked her in again, but as I shut her door my heart just welled up with emotion. Are all these things just happening for no reason? Are these signs that I'm just choosing not to see because I'm worried about being able to 'afford' to have a child of my own. I went to bed that night with a million thoughts swimming in my head. Just trying to make sense of all these events....

More to come on how this all came about in my next blog....

More quotes ....

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
--- Mark Twain

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pray to God, but continue to row toward shore.
--- Russian Proverb

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
--- An ancient Chinese belief

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown


Our children are not ours because they share our genes...
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night,
is how love really works.
--- Unknown

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger


How Could You Know?

As you lay sleeping far away as still as you could be...
How could you know the joy today this photo brings to me?

A few short weeks and you'll be mine, and "I" will soon be "We".
How could you know the love I feel? It's something you can't see.

So have sweet dreams, my precious babe. Sleep well and tenderly.
Some say that you're the lucky one. How could you know it's me?
--- Kris Laughlin

I found quite a few of these quotes ... here http://www.karensadoptionlinks.com/inspirat.html in case anyone is looking for some inspiration.

Regret.....

I’d rather regret the things that I have done, than the things that I have not done.
--- Lucille Ball


Whenever someone gives me the speech of you are so young to give up on getting married and having children of your own. Your man is out there ... just give it some time. I think of the above quote. I believe that if I adopt a child and I'm single and the right man comes along he's going to love us both.... no questions asked. It's just the plain flat simple fact that I'd rather not look back in ten years and regret not following the path that God has laid out for me to follow. Am I too young maybe ... but I'd rather be too young than too old not to want to take that leap of faith.

The Single Road ....

I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
--- Robert Frost

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where I am ... what's taking me so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

I found this quote tonight while looking online and I just fell in love with it. So I'm posting it on my blog and hoping that my prayers will be answered and all my questions silenced.

Another quote...

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
- Vincent van Gogh