Update 3/2/08

First off let me say I'm sorry that I haven't updated my blog in so long! I really miss all of you! I guess I'm at a rough patch. I am at the new job where I'm learning so much and working all the time. I can't believe how much information I've soaked up since I started and things that I'd have never even thought about that are now second nature to me. I'm working a whole lot of hours and I started school in Feb and then I'm trying to fit in training sessions with EV to lose the last part of my weight - I've lost 75 pounds at this point and I've got another 25 pounds left to go. My weight loss has definitely slowed due to the stress of the new job, school, and just generally I'm tired - more than I was before because I've got a further drive and more that I'm responsible for at the offices. I'm happy, but I still haven't met a special guy - which I thought I might if I lost weight - not that I was depending on that because I'm not I'm just concerned that with the new job to make more money to be able to afford to adopt; will I have enough time for a child and the thought of that just stresses me to the max because I took the job so that I could work towards affording the adoption and now I'm sitting in the position that I'm concerned if I'll be able to have the time even if I can afford to adopt? Does that make sense? So I'm just worried at this point. Worried about making the right decisions and the fact that I miss working with my sister and baby IV - and what makes matters worse is when I do get time to go and visit AJ, EV and IV - if I leave the room for a minute or go out of IV's sight she bawls and cries and literally has a meltdown and it's just as bad if I leave to go home to my house. Which makes me feel like the world's most evil auntie! Here is a picture of her when she was very happy! I'd just given her a bath and was getting her all jammied up! I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much!
Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78

Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.

Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -

Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo

Weight Loss Update for January 11th, 2008

So I'm sure you folks are wondering where I'm at with my weight loss. Six months ago today, I decided I wanted to change my life and not just change my life but to be a healthier person. My aim to be a healthier person was motivated by so many things.
I think that I'd like to list a few of them.

1. I wanted to be the best parent that I could possibly be - since I was thinking I would be a single parent.
2. I wanted to be able to run
3. I wanted to be a better hockey player.
4. I wanted to feel beautiful in my own skin.
5. I wanted to be someone that IV, my niece could look up too.
6. I was inspired by my sister and the way she had/has lost her baby weight from being pregnant with IV.
7. I wanted to feel sexy.
8. I wanted to see if I could make the healthy changes.
9. I wanted to be better on my wheeler.

My weight loss wasn't something that I decided on a whim, I'd thought and thought about the things that I wanted for myself and even thought about the things that I wanted for my future family. It was something that I thought that I owed it to myself to work on even if I wasn't sure I could make it? Over the past 6 months ... (yup I started on July 11th, 2007) I have started over with myself and kind of given up control of what my head tells me is best and letting EV (my trainer) tell me what I should be doing. Should I be eating this or training here - I let him guide me. I have never felt so proud of myself and so comfortable in my own skin in my whole life. I have gone through my closet and gotten rid of clothes a couple times and one of those times I tried on my prom dress from my senior high school prom which I went to alone because I didn't have a date and you know what my prom dress was too big for me. That felt incredible. A real accomplishment something that I worked for and stuck with and I did it, for myself. I'm one of those people who never does for myself. I am always doing for others and putting myself last. After six months do I still make some mistakes and struggle to eat right? Somedays are harder than others, but I really feel like I'm not scared to keep working towards my goals. Today is a special day for a couple of reasons. I've made it through six months of training, I have lost a total of 66 pounds, and I'm under 200 pounds, which is something I never thought would happen. I really want people to know that if you put your mind to a goal you can do it. I know that I couldn't have done it with out the support of my trainer EV, my sister, and my family and a great group of friends who are all so supportive. I know that I'd like to lose atleast 39 to 50 more pounds. I've enjoyed seeing my body, face, and looks change and it's funny when people don't recognize me or when my dentist asked me if I got gastric bypass surgery. I've inspired people to eat healthier, workout, and make healthy changes in their lives and that is something I never thought I could have done. The Lord has blessed me and in turn my blessings are inspiring and blessing others and that is the greatest gift I could give myself or someone else.

CSI, Weigh Loss, New Quote... and Inspiring Happenings

9/27/07 - Tonight is the first episode of CSI - Season 8. For all of you that don't know it's my favorite show! The only one that I really enjoy watching - I'm not really a big TV fan - more than anything I enjoy movies, but I love CSI and would even go as far as saying I wish I would've gone to school to be a lab tech or a field investigator. For all of you that already watch CSI - I'm sure that you know that Sarah has been kidnapped by the miniture killer & tonight we find out if Grissom and the CSI Team can find her in time.

Here's an update on where I'm at with my weight loss - I'm down 37 pounds. I know a few of you have asked me what I'm doing and the biggest thing is my brother in law EV - is training me. Personal training is something I never thought I would end up doing but it's worth the work & it is hard work. It's definitley 20% of losing weight. The other 80% of losing weight is what you eat. So I don't know how everyone feels about eating a certain way but if you are interested read on and if not ... then skip it & please don't read. Losing weight is 80% what you put into your body. You need to drink water which we all know - but don't put processed foods in your body. I have stopped drinking pop, juice, alcohol, coffee and have limited my beverages to organic skim milk and good old water. I don't eat processed white flour anymore. I don't eat hardly any food that's been processed. I only eat whole wheat bread w/ whole grains, fresh fruits, fresh veggies, lean meats, proteins, such as egg whites, legumes, and brown rice. Sometimes to add variety I'll eat protein bars or protein shakes - but I carry the protein bars w/ me incase I get into a pinch where I'm hungry and there are no healthy choices. The weight is coming off and for the first time in years I feel good, tired sometimes from working out - but healthy overall. I know I used to drink a big coke and just keep going when I was tired and now I go to bed early when I'm tired. I'm fitting into clothes that I haven't fit into in years? Actually I don't remember when I weighed this amount because I'm guessing it must have been back in high school or shortly there after? I eat 5 times a day - I know there are a few people out there who have been worried that I must have been starving myself to be losing all this weight but that isn't the case. I'm actually able to run for short periods on the treadmill something I've never been able to do before. Not that I actually want to post my start weight and my current weight but my goal is about 63 pounds that I have left to lose. I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 16. I just want to be a healthy parent for my child and since I'm going to be a single parent, I think having healthy attitudes toward eating and food is going to be important. I don't want to pass down my bad habits to a child. That is just not fair. I know this in not for everyone and this isn't about me trying to be 'perfect' it's about me being the best parent I can possibly be & if it means that I have to wait a little while to get started on my journey because I need to get my head in the right frame of mind and my body in shape then so be it. I know that w/ out the support of the Lord and my family I wouldn't be where I am today. I also know that I can do this! If anyone has specific questions or comments that they'd rather not put down for me in a comment because they are private please feel free to post a comment w/ your email addy attached and I'll email you!

I haven't really blogged much lately it's been more of a post here about prayer requests or something I've done on the weekends. More over not really thoughts on where I'm at with my adoption pursuit. I wanted to tell everyone about my weight loss because right now I know that I'm focusing on the weigh loss and I know that if I can make the weight loss happen, I can raise the money for my adoption and go through the what if's and what will I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is when I started my weight loss track on July 11th - I took a leap of faith & I was forced to trust in God, myself and EV my trainer that if I followed the path laid out for me that I would be able to do what I had started out to do. This does not mean that I'm planning on waiting till I've lost all 63 pounds before I send in my application. Just last night I re-read through my application and I want to send it in, but I'm still concerned about the financial aspects.

Inspiration... on Monday night and Tuesday night of this week, I spent time w/ IV. On Monday night my sister AJ has a volleyball team that she plays on and EV her husband is usually training people in the evenings so IV and I hang out at my house during volleyball (there is a strict no child policy at volleyball - I'm guessing it's a Mom's night away type of thing). IV inspires me and reminds me that it is my dream to be a parent and while I love being her Aunt and I love her more than she'll ever know - it tells me that I can't wait until I'm the mom. On Tuesday night was AJ & EV's anniversary of the first day that they met so I offered to watch IV so that they could have some couple time - a romantic dinner out! So IV spent the night at my house and she is just a joy to have around in all senses of the word Joy. She is learning her signs (all done, more, eat, drink), she's learned to say 'Manda', she can say 'icky' when I change her dirty diaper. She has started to stand on her own in the past few weeks. IV walks between furniture as many as 4-5 steps on her own. She loves the bath and I love doing her hair! I can not wait to be a mother to a child who needs one. IV shows me every day that I was meant to follow my dream of adopting and that when the time is right everything is just going to be wonderful. I believe it will be. I'm going to leave you with a quote that I found on one of the other blogs that I read this past week and some pictures of IV and IV & I together. May all of you be blessed.

This is right after IV had a bath and was all jammied up as I like to call it!





Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

*IV always holds my hand when she falls asleep, it's one of the things that I love most about watching her... someday when she's older I can't wait to show her this picture and remind her just how much she is loved and how much love she gives as well.