Completely Horrified ....

At lunch I was checking CNN.com for world news and I was horrified to find this story about orphans. My heart and prayers go out to these children.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/08/30/btsc.chance.nukes/index.html

I can't wait to have the funds to be able to adopt a child and bring her home safely.

Blessings

I'm thankful for my family - my sister who always listens to me & puts up with me just lavishing all kinds of attention on IV, and IV who always makes me smile, and my brother-in-law EV - who is the best trainer and is helping me to get my body to work for me! I'm thankful for my mom who is supporting me no matter what I decide on my adoption. I'm thankful for my dad who didn't get upset with me about the accident w/ my truck last Monday 8/20.
My sister took a couple of pictures of me holding IV today & I'm in a picture sharing mood so here they are intermingled in a long post.

I'm thankful for my friends Dan & Bette- who have been giving up their free time to help me fix my wheeler w/ out taking it into the dealership - so that I don't get over charged.
I'm thankful for my friends Jen & Lyn - who live far away from me but still make an effort to email me, read my blog, post comments, stay in touch and just be all around wonderful girlfriends.
I'm thankful for each and everyone of my new blog friends: Debbie, Becky, Adrienne, Sira, April, Melissa, Rachel, Carey, Christy, Jeana, & Amy. I hope I didn't miss anyone - who has given me positive responses and encouraged me even though I'm nervous and dragging my feet at this point.
I'm thankful that I found CHI and my contact Ali - she is so sweet and I enjoy every time I talk to her or get an email from her!
I'm thankful that I know that when the time comes for my adoption to take place that I've got a support network like this and people who've been so giving and caring - that I'll be able to learn from there experiences and hopefully pass on my knowledge to those that take this journey after me!
Okay I promise this is going to be my last post for today. Debbie's blog inspired me to count my blessings & w/ the post about the girls I nanny for I want to say that those three little girls and their family are a blessing to me.
I'm very blessed by God and I'm thankful for his hand in my journey to my adoption.
May all of you out there count your blessings.

8/28/07 - My Nanny Job ...

The girls who pretty much have inspired me to adopt are the little girls that I nanny for quite often if anyone has read my whole entire blog you'll know that I refer to them as MM (12), MK(10), MJ(7) - so since they've been so proud of me that I've lost 25 lbs so far, I took pictures with each one of the girls so we'd have a spot to remember where we were at when I reached my first BIG goal. I just thought I would share the pictures with you all! Hope you are having a wonderful day!

This is a picture of me & MM - she has grown from a sweet little girl into a wonderful & caring preteen! MM has become not only some one who is a great cheerleader, but she is smart & helpful. When I see her help with her little sisters, it reminds me of her mother & myself. I'm glad to have been a part of watching her grow up. I love her bunches.


This is a picture of MK and me - she is the one who brought up adoption to me in the first place. MK can be a challenge, but she teaches me lots of things. When I say that she teaches me - what I really mean is that I learn about not only how to deal with kids that aren't simple, but I learn more about myself and how to deal with the tough spots. How to work through it and then still have a positive attitude an hour or two later. MK is a great hockey player & I love helping out with her team. MK is a blessing to me in more ways than I will probably ever know. I love her so much.

MJ is so sweet. She looks at the bright side of life, she always has a smile and in turn spreads that smile to everyone she encounters. She loves to get dressed up & look cute. I love MJ - because she brings out the silliness in me & makes me smile. This is bedtime last night w/ MJ - we took this picture right before taking turns reading the Mudge & Henry book, after that it was hugs & kisses & lights out!

8/29/07 Quote of the day...

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. -Rita Mae Brown

Adoption Support Group

Guess what everyone! I found an adoption support group that meets every 2nd Tuesday of the month, in my town! The Community Center hosts the meetings and I can't believe that the small town that I live in has an adoption support group! So next month I'm going to go and meet other parents who've adopted, who are in the process or are prospectives like me! I guess the sun does come out ... maybe I just needed to give it some time! Hope you are all having a wonderful day!
MJ
Oh and since I don't have a whole lot of exciting pictures on my site .... last weekend I was w/ my sister, her husband and my neice - in Target! IV (my neice) and I were bored of shopping w/ Mommy and Daddy ( they just bought their first home) so we went to find some fun in the baby isle! Tee hee ... so this is what happens when you let IV and Manda alone in the baby department to try out some of the things that Manda would like to get for her new baby that she is going to adopt! See the pictures below!



So this is IV trying out the carseat that I'd like to get for my little one!



So now we all know what happens when IV and Manda are let loose in Target with a digital camera! It might get wild! LOL! Oh and we had a total of 5 people come up and ask if IV was a product model! LOL ... that was even more funny! I can't wait to put these in her 'Adventures at Target' Scrapbook Page! Hope you are all having a great day & this made you smile a bit! IV always makes me smile !

Inspiration & Update as of August 23, 2007

So as I posted on my last blog I’ve been so nervous about turning in my application to CHI! I appreciated all of the wonderful comments that I received from everyone. As much as I’d like to say that I have the money to take out a home equity loan – I’ve only been in my house 3 years as of this month. For raising the funds for my adoption – I’m looking at fundraising and working extra. Or trying to find a job that pays better w/ hours and locations that might make it easier for me to be a single parent. Right now I work about 30 minutes from home and while I was trying to wrap my head around all of this the week that I was going to turn in my application – I just felt overwhelmed by too many what-ifs. So I thought it would be a good idea to head up North on a Sunday and get some 4 wheeling in with some friends, sometimes this helps me put my worries into perspective. While up 4-wheeling – I realized the dealership that maintains my 4 wheeler sent me out onto the trails w/ out any coolant & it overheated. We got coolant and started out again. Then I got the wheeler stuck in some sandy mud & blew the CVT belt and the clutch. I ended up getting towed back to my truck & loaded up and went home – utterly defeated. So I took it into the dealer to get it fixed to find out the repairs would be costing $2500.00 – knowing that the money that I had saved up was the adoption money (and I wouldn’t use that) – I brought it home broken and in pieces. Feeling just pure frustration about trying to go and have a good time and ending up disappointed w/ not only myself, but also my situation. So fast forward a week, because I’m trying to figure out how to get the wheeler fixed (in case I’d want to sell it to help pay for my adoption). On Monday – I get into a car accident. So now my truck is in the shop getting repairs & I’m hoping to get it back this Friday. The question that I’ve been asking myself is it just not the time for me to apply for my adoption or is God just trying to say if you can make it through this rough patch – then you’ll be able to make it through the adoption journey that I’ve laid before you? Which I know that I just have to have faith, but when the world keeps knocking you down – sometimes I wonder if I’ll be able to keep everything going in spite of all these obstacles. So if anyone is wondering where I’m at this is why I haven’t turned in my application, but looking on the bright side of things – maybe God is trying to tell me that my child isn’t ready yet. Maybe I need to realize that God’s timing is not what I want it to be & God will decide when the time is right. If anyone has any insights to share let me know. I’m hanging by a thread lately that is why I haven’t posted or placed comments. On the bright side I did read something I really enjoyed on April & Brandon’s Blog.
I found this on April and Brandon's - Baby Girl Smith Blog & I aspire every day to create a loving home like the one that is reflected in the writing below. Thank you April for the inspiration. Some days we all need a little bit of inspiration and in the hard couple of weeks that I've had I think that it's important to reflect on not only where we are at as individuals, but also what we strive to become.

Here is what Angela Thomas Guffey says about grace in her book Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul:

How to Know Where Grace Lives

* All the neighborhood kids want to hang out at the house where grace lives.
* There is always enough for one more where grace lives.... one more for dinner.... one more to sleep over.... one more hug.... one more kiss.
* You can see people dancing where grace lives.
* You can hear things like, "Please forgive me, I was wrong.... You are my treasure..."
* The eyes of the children where grace lives shine with joy and anticipation. They have not been wounded by impossible expectations. They have not been distanced by rejection. They have been embraced and accepted and loved.
* The moms at the house where grace lives are just regular, everyday moms,
But God lives inside them. By His power, they are becoming holy and righteous
And good. They stumble but recover quickly. They make mistakes but say, "I'm
Sorry." They get blown by the winds of heartache and adversity, but their hearts
remain tender toward God.

Inspiration is the key for me right now. Prayer. Positive Thinking! Oh something else I want to share is that I’ve lost 21 lbs in 7 weeks by working out, training, & eating healthy! Albeit all of the problems that I’ve faced I’m still managing to take care of myself. Could that be a sign that if I can make it through all the disasters and still keep on task – that the journey that I’m trying to get started on will work out if I just keep working on it? Thank you all for listening to me pour my heart out. MJ