Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Thinking about Life...
I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place & I spill things a lot. I’m pretty clumsy & sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends & I sometimes fight & maybe some days nothing goes right but when I think about it & take a step back. I remember how amazing life truly is & that maybe just maybe I like being unperfect.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Inspired by my Grandma...
Cherokee Indian Legend
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~
I got the above email from my Grandma. After stewing so long about my situation and then finally coming to terms with it last night and posting on my blog about the way that I was feeling it's been a total relief. Like now that I said what was bothering me and how I was feeling about my situation - I don't feel so stressed about it anymore. The email from my Grandma just seemed to fit; because for a while now I've felt like the little guy with the blindfold not sure where this is going? Not really sure where I'm at - I mean I know what I dream about or what I'd like to happen but it's like seeing a path when it's snowy and drifting. For those of you who are not native Minnesotans I don't know what to tell you imagine HUGE Snow that has drifted to block the path you thought you'd be taking.... maybe I just need to have some faith that it's all going to work out that I'm just suppose to be taking more time than most people.
Lost another pound this morning! That was exciting! Well I'm taking my lunch break to write this blog post. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know I've checked Carey and Norman's blog a couple of times today to see what's going on with them and there hasn't been any word yet that I've seen! I hope and pray that everything is going alright with their little girl.
Thanks for listening!
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~
I got the above email from my Grandma. After stewing so long about my situation and then finally coming to terms with it last night and posting on my blog about the way that I was feeling it's been a total relief. Like now that I said what was bothering me and how I was feeling about my situation - I don't feel so stressed about it anymore. The email from my Grandma just seemed to fit; because for a while now I've felt like the little guy with the blindfold not sure where this is going? Not really sure where I'm at - I mean I know what I dream about or what I'd like to happen but it's like seeing a path when it's snowy and drifting. For those of you who are not native Minnesotans I don't know what to tell you imagine HUGE Snow that has drifted to block the path you thought you'd be taking.... maybe I just need to have some faith that it's all going to work out that I'm just suppose to be taking more time than most people.
Lost another pound this morning! That was exciting! Well I'm taking my lunch break to write this blog post. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know I've checked Carey and Norman's blog a couple of times today to see what's going on with them and there hasn't been any word yet that I've seen! I hope and pray that everything is going alright with their little girl.
Thanks for listening!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Update 3/2/08
First off let me say I'm sorry that I haven't updated my blog in so long! I really miss all of you! I guess I'm at a rough patch. I am at the new job where I'm learning so much and working all the time. I can't believe how much information I've soaked up since I started and things that I'd have never even thought about that are now second nature to me. I'm working a whole lot of hours and I started school in Feb and then I'm trying to fit in training sessions with EV to lose the last part of my weight - I've lost 75 pounds at this point and I've got another 25 pounds left to go. My weight loss has definitely slowed due to the stress of the new job, school, and just generally I'm tired - more than I was before because I've got a further drive and more that I'm responsible for at the offices. I'm happy, but I still haven't met a special guy - which I thought I might if I lost weight - not that I was depending on that because I'm not I'm just concerned that with the new job to make more money to be able to afford to adopt; will I have enough time for a child and the thought of that just stresses me to the max because I took the job so that I could work towards affording the adoption and now I'm sitting in the position that I'm concerned if I'll be able to have the time even if I can afford to adopt? Does that make sense? So I'm just worried at this point. Worried about making the right decisions and the fact that I miss working with my sister and baby IV - and what makes matters worse is when I do get time to go and visit AJ, EV and IV - if I leave the room for a minute or go out of IV's sight she bawls and cries and literally has a meltdown and it's just as bad if I leave to go home to my house. Which makes me feel like the world's most evil auntie! Here is a picture of her when she was very happy! I'd just given her a bath and was getting her all jammied up! 
I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much!
Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78
Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.
Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -
Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo
I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much! Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78
Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.
Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -
Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tag I'm It....
Tag, I'm it!
This is the 4 things tag! Thanks April (http://vietnambabygirlsmith.blogspot.com/) for letting me join in the fun!
4 jobs I've had:
1. Nanny
2. Wendy's Cashier/worker (be kind to fast food workers it's a sad job!)
3. Customer Service Manager (DFI)
4. Property Manager & Project Manager (Construction)
4 movies watched over and over:
1. National Treasure
2. National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets
3. Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3
4. Footloose
4 places I've lived:
1. Palestine, Ohio
2. Monticello/Buffalo, MN
3. Edina, MN
4. Cincinnati, Ohio & Bemdji, MN
4 shows I watch:
1. CSI
2. SuperNanny
3. The Biggest Loser
4. Sponge Bob Square Pants
4 places I've been:
1. Bahamas
2. The Black Hills, South Dakota
3. Washington D.C.
4. Boston, MA
4 people who e-mail me regularly:
1. Alyssa my sister
2. Patti - lady I nanny for
3. my bosses
4. vendors
4 favorite things to eat:
1. Raspberries - fresh
2. Peanut Butter & Banana Protein Smoothies
3. Salmon
4. Celery Peanut butter and raisens
4 places I'd rather be:
1. Being a stay at home wife and mother - I know I'm dreaming!
2. on the beach somewhere with my family!
3. Going 4 wheeling up North or in South Dakota
4. Starting on my adoption or picking up my child in Russia!
4 things I look forward to this year:
1. starting my adoption - possibly!
2. losing those last 30 pounds - I'm down a total of 70 as of today!
3. Paying off my debt
4. Getting a Toyota Prius so that I can spend less on gas vs my truck that gets 17.5 mpg!
4 people to tag:
1. Rachel http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/
2. Becky http://russianpeanut.blogspot.com/
3. Carrie http://www.oneal-itsasmallworld.blogspot.com/
4. Brandy http://ginsbergsrussianadoption.blogspot.com/
This is the 4 things tag! Thanks April (http://vietnambabygirlsmith.blogspot.com/) for letting me join in the fun!
4 jobs I've had:
1. Nanny
2. Wendy's Cashier/worker (be kind to fast food workers it's a sad job!)
3. Customer Service Manager (DFI)
4. Property Manager & Project Manager (Construction)
4 movies watched over and over:
1. National Treasure
2. National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets
3. Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3
4. Footloose
4 places I've lived:
1. Palestine, Ohio
2. Monticello/Buffalo, MN
3. Edina, MN
4. Cincinnati, Ohio & Bemdji, MN
4 shows I watch:
1. CSI
2. SuperNanny
3. The Biggest Loser
4. Sponge Bob Square Pants
4 places I've been:
1. Bahamas
2. The Black Hills, South Dakota
3. Washington D.C.
4. Boston, MA
4 people who e-mail me regularly:
1. Alyssa my sister
2. Patti - lady I nanny for
3. my bosses
4. vendors
4 favorite things to eat:
1. Raspberries - fresh
2. Peanut Butter & Banana Protein Smoothies
3. Salmon
4. Celery Peanut butter and raisens
4 places I'd rather be:
1. Being a stay at home wife and mother - I know I'm dreaming!
2. on the beach somewhere with my family!
3. Going 4 wheeling up North or in South Dakota
4. Starting on my adoption or picking up my child in Russia!
4 things I look forward to this year:
1. starting my adoption - possibly!
2. losing those last 30 pounds - I'm down a total of 70 as of today!
3. Paying off my debt
4. Getting a Toyota Prius so that I can spend less on gas vs my truck that gets 17.5 mpg!
4 people to tag:
1. Rachel http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/
2. Becky http://russianpeanut.blogspot.com/
3. Carrie http://www.oneal-itsasmallworld.blogspot.com/
4. Brandy http://ginsbergsrussianadoption.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Questions about my adoption...
This blog posted started out as a response to a comment posted on my blog.... but then I felt like it kind of turned into a post so I ended up posting it instead I hope that you all don't mind. Blessings to you all.... my best wishes for you all. Please read.
I am still hoping to adopt and I haven't forgot about my adoption, but God's hand is moving in my life in so many ways. I just started a new job and I honestly don't believe it's financially responsible to start an adoption with as much debt as I'm in and the fact that I'm creating a single income family. So what I'm doing is trying to excel at my new job, work hard, they are going to send me back to school, so that I have more earning potential and yes I'm waiting on my adoption to see how the new job shakes out. I have to wait for God's timing as well as my own and yes my weight loss is a big focus right now, but everyone prepares for life changes in a different way. I have no idea where the road that God has me on is going to lead me. For all I know maybe I'm getting healthy so that I can meet the man of my dreams and we can adopt together or maybe I've been blessed w/ this new job so that I can afford to adopt on my own. I just don't know where it's leading me. Don't worry that I'm not focusing on my adoption it is in the back of my mind at all times but when you are single sometimes you have to look at the big picture and the financial key is a big thing. I don't feel that God would send me in the wrong direction. I think maybe having faith and trust is something that I just have to believe in. I know that my adoption will happen when the time is right for me. God's plan never fails. I was a miracle baby who made it through so many trials and tribulations and I've always known he has a special plan for me. As for the fact that I've been focusing on my weigh loss, I don't feel like this is a bad thing. It's taught me to work hard to persevere through hard times, to wait and be patient. To see the small changes in myself, to be aware of myself, and to really see in my life the people who are there supporting me and also to learn the tough lessons of those who are only there to support you when it's best for them. Let me say I've learned some hard lessons through this weight loss. I've learned the importance of acceptance of not only myself and my shortcomings, but what I can deal with from others who I thought were my friends. I've learned that my family is one of the greatest blessings that I could have asked for but never really knew how much they truly loved me until I stepped back and started working on loving myself. So I want to say I know that my blog has changed in the past year, but I don't think that is a bad thing. I think everyone evolves in one way or another. I haven't given up my goal of adoption even if I lose all my weight, or find the man of my dreams, or stay single - I still want to be an adoptive parent.
Thanks for listening ..... you're all always in my prayers.
I am still hoping to adopt and I haven't forgot about my adoption, but God's hand is moving in my life in so many ways. I just started a new job and I honestly don't believe it's financially responsible to start an adoption with as much debt as I'm in and the fact that I'm creating a single income family. So what I'm doing is trying to excel at my new job, work hard, they are going to send me back to school, so that I have more earning potential and yes I'm waiting on my adoption to see how the new job shakes out. I have to wait for God's timing as well as my own and yes my weight loss is a big focus right now, but everyone prepares for life changes in a different way. I have no idea where the road that God has me on is going to lead me. For all I know maybe I'm getting healthy so that I can meet the man of my dreams and we can adopt together or maybe I've been blessed w/ this new job so that I can afford to adopt on my own. I just don't know where it's leading me. Don't worry that I'm not focusing on my adoption it is in the back of my mind at all times but when you are single sometimes you have to look at the big picture and the financial key is a big thing. I don't feel that God would send me in the wrong direction. I think maybe having faith and trust is something that I just have to believe in. I know that my adoption will happen when the time is right for me. God's plan never fails. I was a miracle baby who made it through so many trials and tribulations and I've always known he has a special plan for me. As for the fact that I've been focusing on my weigh loss, I don't feel like this is a bad thing. It's taught me to work hard to persevere through hard times, to wait and be patient. To see the small changes in myself, to be aware of myself, and to really see in my life the people who are there supporting me and also to learn the tough lessons of those who are only there to support you when it's best for them. Let me say I've learned some hard lessons through this weight loss. I've learned the importance of acceptance of not only myself and my shortcomings, but what I can deal with from others who I thought were my friends. I've learned that my family is one of the greatest blessings that I could have asked for but never really knew how much they truly loved me until I stepped back and started working on loving myself. So I want to say I know that my blog has changed in the past year, but I don't think that is a bad thing. I think everyone evolves in one way or another. I haven't given up my goal of adoption even if I lose all my weight, or find the man of my dreams, or stay single - I still want to be an adoptive parent.
Thanks for listening ..... you're all always in my prayers.
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