Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Questions about my adoption...

This blog posted started out as a response to a comment posted on my blog.... but then I felt like it kind of turned into a post so I ended up posting it instead I hope that you all don't mind. Blessings to you all.... my best wishes for you all. Please read.

I am still hoping to adopt and I haven't forgot about my adoption, but God's hand is moving in my life in so many ways. I just started a new job and I honestly don't believe it's financially responsible to start an adoption with as much debt as I'm in and the fact that I'm creating a single income family. So what I'm doing is trying to excel at my new job, work hard, they are going to send me back to school, so that I have more earning potential and yes I'm waiting on my adoption to see how the new job shakes out. I have to wait for God's timing as well as my own and yes my weight loss is a big focus right now, but everyone prepares for life changes in a different way. I have no idea where the road that God has me on is going to lead me. For all I know maybe I'm getting healthy so that I can meet the man of my dreams and we can adopt together or maybe I've been blessed w/ this new job so that I can afford to adopt on my own. I just don't know where it's leading me. Don't worry that I'm not focusing on my adoption it is in the back of my mind at all times but when you are single sometimes you have to look at the big picture and the financial key is a big thing. I don't feel that God would send me in the wrong direction. I think maybe having faith and trust is something that I just have to believe in. I know that my adoption will happen when the time is right for me. God's plan never fails. I was a miracle baby who made it through so many trials and tribulations and I've always known he has a special plan for me. As for the fact that I've been focusing on my weigh loss, I don't feel like this is a bad thing. It's taught me to work hard to persevere through hard times, to wait and be patient. To see the small changes in myself, to be aware of myself, and to really see in my life the people who are there supporting me and also to learn the tough lessons of those who are only there to support you when it's best for them. Let me say I've learned some hard lessons through this weight loss. I've learned the importance of acceptance of not only myself and my shortcomings, but what I can deal with from others who I thought were my friends. I've learned that my family is one of the greatest blessings that I could have asked for but never really knew how much they truly loved me until I stepped back and started working on loving myself. So I want to say I know that my blog has changed in the past year, but I don't think that is a bad thing. I think everyone evolves in one way or another. I haven't given up my goal of adoption even if I lose all my weight, or find the man of my dreams, or stay single - I still want to be an adoptive parent.
Thanks for listening ..... you're all always in my prayers.

5 comments:

Deb said...

You sound so positive and upbeat about life. That's a great encouragement.
I'm so glad that you are waiting on God. His timing is perfect and not always easy to wait for but it really sounds like you do a great job of it.
In hindsight I wish we had waited to start our adoption until we had done a few things but as it works out we've just chugged along in our wait and accomplished them anyhow.
Don't worry about where your blog goes. You're a blog friend no matter what you blog about. :-)

Troy and Rachel said...

I think you are doing everything right and once you make the decision, whatever it may be, it will be perfect and it will be right. I love catching up on your blog and your weight loss has been an inspriration to me!! You will know when you are ready!

Alice said...

Thanks for visiting my site. Congrats on your new job. I agree with what you said in your latest post. Things have a way of working out when and how they are supposed to. You are being responsible and taking care of yourself. I knew I would adopt 9 years before I actually sent my application to my agency. I just knew. I spent that time getting ready, I guess, but really I think I had to wait until she was born. I didn't know that then but that is what I think now. She is the perfect child for me and the timing is everything. I believe that we all get the kids we are supposed to get by birth or adoption. So take your time, figure it out, and do what feels right because that's how it works. So now help me lose some weight :) Alice

Living to Love said...

This all sounds very logical and it does seem that God is working in your life. He will open the doors as they are to be opened! Good luck with the last 30!

Becky and Keith said...

You are so level headed!! Can you pass some of that on to me?? :-) You should be so proud of your weight loss. If you can succeed at that, you can succeed in anything! You're such a greater supporter of those of us in the middle of adoption chaos so I'm glad you're going to keep blogging. You always know the right thing to say!