I've been asked a couple of times where I'm at in the process. Well I'm in a holding pattern so to speak. I promised myself at the beginning of this journey that before I took a leap of faith and submitted my application to CHI - that I would do research. Spend time alone. Think about life. Pray. Make goals for myself. Enjoy life as a single person. Make sure that I'm making the right decision. That I'm not jumping in with both feet before knowing that I can do this - without planning anything. So I promised myself I would wait until August 1st, 2007 to submit my application. So that would mean I've waited and thought about the adoption for six whole months. I'm sure that some people are like Amanda - what are you waiting for? Here's the little catch though - I know that adoption is the right thing for me. I know it in my heart. I know that there is a child who is meant for me - probably not even been born yet. I'm just a scared. I'm scared of how on earth am I going to pay for this? Where will the money come from? What if I can't figure out the money during the adoption? Maybe this is because I'm alone that I'm worried about these things? Actually it may sound silly, but I'm not worried about any other part of my adoption, but the cost. I'm not worried about a baby that won't sleep, I'm not worried about diapers, teething, or tantrums. I'm not worried about baby food on my walls or spilling juice on the floor. I'm not worried about messy baby room or lots of laundry or staying in on Saturday night watching a disney movie. I'm not worried about missing 4 wheeling - my mom has already decided once a month it's going to be Grandma and the baby day - so I can have a little bit of time to myself once a month. So I guess I started this blog to meet people and share experiences and see if there are other people in my shoes so to speak who've taken the leap of faith and it's worked out for them? I was out on Saturday with my mom and I went to this small shop/store it's called wooden hearts & I found a sign that I love and I bought it ....
On the sign it reads:
God doesn't give us what we can handle
God helps us handle what we are given.
I pray in my heart of hearts that this statement is true, because I'm going to submit my application and pray that I figure out a way to make it all come together. I appreciate all the support that I get from those of you that read my blog & a special thanks to Sira - for inspiring this post.
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3 comments:
I love the sign you bought. It is so true and we should all remember that. Troy and I agonized over the cost of the adoption too, but miraculously we have the funds. We have had to work really hard for them, but they came. There are tons of fundraising ideas out there too. Type in adoption fundraisers on google and there are a few decent ones. Hang in there!!
It's not because you're alone. Many of us have the same worries. Research grants. I have a post with links on my blog if you don't know where to start. Under the "About Adoption" tab at the bottom of the post.
We received one so I can tell you it does happen. You just have to work for it. They're almost harder then putting together the adoption paperwork.
But it can be done. We've taken that leap of faith. We're not there yet but with each step that requires payment we've been able to cover it. Our next step is our dossier submission and that's being paid with the grant and there's still some left over for the next step.
Great quote.
We are in the same boat! Each corner we turn I hope and pray we're going to be okay financially and deep down inside I know we will be! We might not retire until we're 100, but hey... at least we'll have a baby boy, right? :-) Hang in there and I think it's great you're taking time to think. We took 2 years between infertility treatments to figure out if we could afford it and then just bit the bullet!
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