How this all came about ...

Someone asked me a few days ago - how this all came about for me. So I thought I might add a little bit of my story to this blog to remember how everything did come about.

Back in January - which may seem like a long time ago at this point - I went on a weekend hockey trip with one of the girls I nanny for while her parents were in Australia. While there at the hockey tournament, I was watch a game and a nice woman sat down beside me with a beautiful baby. Well if any of you know me I just couldn't resist talking to the baby & then the mother. We were talking about the hockey game and the girls playing - her daughter was playing on the team against MK's team (the little girl that I nanny for). So she was asking me about my daughter and I confessed how much I love MK, but she's not mine and I am only her nanny. Then I was asking about her daughter and then came to ask about her other children and she said she had a son who was 12 and her daughter was 9 - MK's same age. I laughed to myself and said something about how's it going with a baby and two older kids that you have to run around so much. She said that her baby was an unexpected blessing. I laughed again and I said 'oh an oops baby' she said: no she's adopted. She told me the story of the baby's mother who was young and not able to take care of the baby & she and her family felt it was a sign from God that they were meant to adopt. She and I sat talking enjoying the game. She asked again about MK & how she couldn't believe she wasn't my little girl. She said that as much as I loved children she couldn't believe I didn't have any of my own. I laughed a bit and said - well you know Prince Charming is around here somewhere, but he just keeps forgetting to answer his phone. She asked if I had someone special in my life and I admitted that I didn't. She said that is too bad. I told her how much I enjoyed talking to her and how beautiful her baby was and we parted ways. That was my first sign I just didn't know it yet....
That same weekend MK & I made friends w/ a mom and her daughter. We spent a fair amount of time with them because the girls both play defense for hockey. They MK & J - got on so well that it was just a great time all around. So when we came back from the hockey trip, I spoke to MK's mom and said J is a really nice little girl we should have her over for a play date. Since I nanny part time - I came back a week or so later and MK was really giving me a rough time that night. Not listening, not going to bed, just general behavior from a 9 year old who doesn't always like to cooperate. I'd gotten her into bed and honestly to let all of you know I'd just about had my limit & I'm one of the most patient people I know when it comes to children. All though I sometimes say that God sent me MK so that I would learn to go beyond my limits & this was one of those nights. MK was finally in bed, w/ teeth brushed, gone potty, and kisses. As I go to shut the lights out she says she has a big secret to tell me and I'm thinking - she's stalling. So I tell her that she would be more than welcome to let me know in the morning but it's past her bedtime and she needs to go to sleep. So then she starts begging about how it's a big secret and she can't tell anyone she promised. It's about J her new friend - that she just got to have a play date with the other day. At this point I'm worried thinking oh no - if I don't listen and it's something horrible. I'm not protecting the child. For all I know it could be something ... horrible. So against my better judgement, I turn the lights on and go back into the bedroom and sit on MK's bed. She tells me about her play date and how J told her a secret and that I have to promise not to tell. Sighs.... This is one of those adult moments where I promise, but I was thinking I'm not really promising if it's something horrible. So she goes on to tell me that J is adopted. That if J wants to tell someone she can't but if she doesn't want to tell someone then she doesn't have to. MK felt so special that J - her new friend had picked her to share this with. I thought the same thing. Wow! She told you it's great! Then I asked MK what she thought about J being adopted? This is what I got...... Well Manda - I think it's special. Cuz J needed a family and now she has a great one. MK goes onto say.. Manda - I've been thinking about you and how much you love all of us ... (her sisters MM & MJ) and even though you are a part of our family. If you ever wanted a family of your own... I think you should get an adopt-a-kid. MK goes on to say... You are so good to us and you love us so much .... you'd make a great mom for someone who needed one. At this point I'm struggling not to burst into tears and there were tears rolling down my face. MK hugged me and I told her I loved her and thanks for letting me know how she thought I'd be a great parent, but I told her that I didn't think that I made enough money to adopt a child. Then ... she looked me straight in the eye and said "Manda - don't worry we'll figure out a way to get you the money to get an adopt-a-kid." Now this and all of this coming from a child who I love to death but can test my patience better than anyone I know! Can you believe it? So I said good night to MK and tucked her in again, but as I shut her door my heart just welled up with emotion. Are all these things just happening for no reason? Are these signs that I'm just choosing not to see because I'm worried about being able to 'afford' to have a child of my own. I went to bed that night with a million thoughts swimming in my head. Just trying to make sense of all these events....

More to come on how this all came about in my next blog....