This Single Gal's Blog - my journey to adopt & my adventures along the way.

Happy Monday!

2008-07-14T14:08:00.004-06:00

Check this out ... made me smile today! If you don't understand I ride Bombardier and Polaris is our ARCH ENEMY.... think Batman & the Joker... of course I'm BATMAN with the Bombardier! Hee Hee!

On another note wordpress isn't cooperating so I may have to email my blog buddy Jenna and ask her for help! Anyway I just wanted you guys to know what is going on with me!

Happy Monday!

Oh and I just want everyone to know I have the best sister out there! I was having a rough day/week and she just went out of her way today to write to me even though she is busy and make me smile!

Moving my Blog...

2008-07-13T19:13:00.002-06:00

I'm moving my blog to wordpress.com so that I can have posts about my family that are private. If you know me in real life and would like to read those posts or you are one of my bloggy friends that I've emailed with and gotten to know please request the password and I'll send it to you!

Here's my new blog!

singlegalmj@wordpress.com

I look forward to hearing from you there or here! I'll be keeping this one until I figure out how to import everything or if I have to copy it then I will.

Have a great Sunday night!

whew....

2008-07-10T09:28:00.002-06:00

Do you ever just have one of those days where you are just struggling for which way to go and what to do?

I'm starting to think hard about selling my 4 wheeler, it just seems as though lately it's hard to find people to go riding with on the weekends and instead of actually going 4 wheeling - my wheeler sits in the garage collecting dust. Maybe it's the gas prices, maybe it's that the people I used to go riding with don't want to go anymore, or maybe I just feel like I should consolidate and move on? In a way I don't want to see the 4 wheeler get sold because it's the one thing that I do for fun for myself. On the other hand if I'm not really using it then what's the point in having it? Which leads to if I sell that then I really don't need a truck anymore and I could just have an economical small car that gets better gas mileage - such as a mini cooper, vw beetle convertible, or a nissan maxima coupe. Those are a few of the cars that I have seen that I like and wouldn't mind driving.

Oh the choices in life ... are confusing at times.

Thoughts of a girl.... I lost touch with....

2008-06-27T18:32:00.004-06:00

I don't even know how to start this post, but I feel like I'm in a spot where I feel like I don't have a good grip on my feelings. I found out this morning that a girl who I went to high school with died on Wednesday. Now mind you I remember being friends with her in middle school and high school. She was sweet and funny. Sometimes goofy - but after high school I lost touch with a whole lot of people. I just didn't try to stay in touch and when the reunion things came around to be honest I never really felt good about high school - who I was, where I was in my life, or any of those things so I avoided those reunions at all costs. Now fast forward to today a little over 12 years since I graduated from high school. I find out this morning that Julie Steiskal, the girl I was talking about drowned trying to save a youth from her church who'd slipped & fallen. This young girl and Julie drown in the Temperance river in northern Minnesota. I feel conflicted and sad - that Julie died trying to help someone else. Looking online at all the news stories, I found Julie's website and that she did photography. www.juliesteiskal.com - after looking through her website today I felt that I wish I would have taken the time to keep in touch with her. She literally lived 15 minutes from me. Which all this time I had no idea. I guess it just goes to show that maybe I need to be more open and also to look around me and cherish those in my life that I have been blessed with - I can't help but feel sad for Julie's family and friends who were close to her, because even though I hadn't seen her in all those years she still has that beautiful smile that I remember from being in band, choir, & school together. I've been praying all day for Julie, her family, and her friends. I don't know why this accident has touched me so - but I have to wonder if it's God reminding me how precious our time is everyday. How we should cherish the ones we love the ones we have because none of us know that the next moment could be our last. I have to have faith and believe that everything happens for a reason, it just makes me sad that someone who was always so sweet and funny could be gone in a blink of an eye trying to help another. If any of you out there read this post and find it in your hearts to pray for Julie, her family and friends that would be wonderful. Thank you ahead of time.

I guess I didn't realize how much feeling I had about this almost like regret that I didn't know who she became or who she was at this point in her life. Not that I had all the control in the situation - but my heart hurts for her family and friends. I wish I could put my feelings into words more eloquently - but I just don't know how else to describe the way I'm feeling right now. As the tears stream down my face, I'm praying for peace for both families of the girls who were taken in that rushing river.

Article on Adoption Benefits

2008-06-22T20:31:00.002-06:00

Check out the article I found on CNN.com tonight! This is a good thing!

Last Weekend

2008-06-19T11:57:00.003-06:00

Last weekend I did the walk & roll in our town with my sister & IV. My mom works for State Farm and she had a tent at the walk & roll. Not to brag, but I think we are some pretty cute ladies. My mom emailed me the picture. We walked & IV rolled in her stroller. It was a great day! We had so much fun! Can't wait to do it again next year!

AJ, Mom, IV, & Me

C'mon Go VOTE & Prayer Request!

2008-06-19T06:27:00.002-06:00

Check this out link

Please go & vote for Max's mom Sira - so that she can have a wonderful wedding!

Here's a link to Sira's blog

Have a great day!

Nn another note, I don't want to say a specific person but a friend of mine could really use prayers right now, I can't say her name on the public blog - but I'm sure God knows who I have in mind and what her families situation is - could you please pray for her. She is such a sweet gal and so supportive and I really look up to her (even though she's younger than I am - HA!)! Thanks folks & have a great day!

A post that touched my heart...

2008-06-17T08:59:00.004-06:00

So I read this post.

It made me feel so much. It made me feel like I don't understand people. So I wrote a comment to Angie - the blog's author because I want her to know that not everyone out there is like those people who did that to her. So I wrote her a response and I wanted to make sure and share it with all who read my blog. Please take a look below.

Dear Angie - I wanted you to know that I found your blog though Adrienne's Blog (Owen) - I'm a single gal looking to adopt; actually better to put it this way - I'm a single gal who's still hoping to get married and then adopt! I've posted a few comments here and there of encouragement and love. I've said prayers for you, Audrey, your husband, your girls and the rest of your family. I check your blog every few days in hopes of seeing how you are doing be it bad or good. I'm sorry to hear that someone would have mis-represented themselves to you and that is why I wanted to post a comment today so I didn't seem like a blog stalker, who never posts a comment and never lets you know I'm around checking, praying and hoping things will go better for you and your entire family. I'm here to say that (from knowledge that I've gained in the past year) in my own personal experiences sometimes people take out their hurt on others. I'm not sure why this is or why they feel compelled to do these things? I know that my situation is not anywhere near yours... (I'm sure you haven't had time to check out my blog) but it seems like when things go well in my life others sometimes feel compelled to tear me down. It's up to me what I do with my hurt and disappointment though - and I choose everyday to keep evolving, changing, and working to be the best person that I can be - the gal that God meant for me to be. All that being said doesn't take away the hurt that is sometimes caused by and it's not meant to really just that on a daily basis we all have to choose how to react to everything around us. I want you to know that as much as I don't know you very well and have only read your blog - I enjoy who you are and how you share and that you are honest and caring. I aspire to be more like that as I evolve into the gal that the Lord meant me to be. Maybe that is the reason I happened in on your blog about Audrey so that I would see some of the things that are admirable in others. One never knows why certain people touch our hearts, but I tend to believe it's the Lord's way of sending us in the right direction.... his God breezes.

Now that I've shared with you all how I feel that God touches our lives - I just wanted to let all of my blog friends who've taken the time to be supportive, caring, and loving to me, my family, and friends that I cherish all of you. I believe that God brings people together for reasons that may never be known to all of us. I've prayed for each and everyone of my blog friends and you are all special to me in many different ways. The fact that I'm inspired and touched by your stories that I learn and am taught and I'm able to share my ideas, feelings, and stories is a wonderful thing for me. I hope that I help all of you as much as I can as well even if it is in being a sounding board. I feel blessed to have 'met' each and everyone of you. Thanks for all you do for me, the Lord, and each other this network is important & so special.

UPDATE

2008-06-11T07:15:00.002-06:00

Hey - I'm updating my blog from being gone on several occasions and then there have been some posts that I'd been working on for a while - so if you want to see them all make sure that you scroll all the way down to see all of the latest posts. I think I did 4 posts yesterday, but I'm dating them when they should have been posted so that they are in order.

Adoption - beware this post ... has some landminds!

2008-06-10T17:30:00.006-06:00

Word of advice: reader beware ... blogger is thinking out loud and using said blog as a sounding board!

Has anyone used this agency?

Children's Home Society - if so could you give me some information about it & what you think ?

http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/home.html

I've been thinking about adopting so much lately; in fact it's on my mind so much it's hard to focus on other things. I've been thinking about switching programs from Russia to Ethiopia? I've been thinking about switching agencies because the agency that I loved CHI - doesn't have a representative in Minnesota anymore. I've been thinking about switching agencies as well because CHI doesn't allow singles to adopt from anywhere but Russia unless you want an older child and I've heard about so many problems with Kaz. I had been toying with the idea of Vietnam for a while but with the government shut downs - I'm sure it wouldn't be a great idea to get my hopes up for that - then I started reading this blog http://russianbrown.blogspot.com/ and thought that maybe open adoption might be something I could be interested in after all.
I'm held back by my desire to be a stay at home mom. Is that wrong to want that even though I haven't found a prince charming? I know that there are people out there who say I should give it some time and give myself a chance to meet someone. I think in my head that they are right, but in my heart I long to be a mom. Question is should I wait in hopes of having everything that I've dreamed of .... ie: a husband, a child, being able to be a homemaker - which by the way is a great profession. I know that when i was a nanny, I really really loved it. Even though I did go to school at night and it was hard to hand the babies over at the end of the day. I was always excited for them to wake up in the morning just so I could see their little faces. I know that when you become a parent that you give up things like being able to do whatever you want whenever you want, but when what I really want is to make a home for a family/husband/child - are you really giving up something that you'll miss. I've read that quote that goes something like this: 'We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell. Maybe that is what parenthood is really like - you give up the life that you've built as a single person or a couple to make way for the life that is waiting filled with children and all that comes with them. I have talked to some other single adoptive moms - who say it's the best decision that they've ever made. I haven't heard any comments that are negative from singles who have become adoptive parents. I guess it might make me feel better if I heard something from someone like Melissa at http://www.child-of-mine.blogspot.com/. She is honest about her feelings and I'm not saying that the single moms aren't - but on most blogs you don't hear about the tough times. I guess I'm just not sure what I want to do, should I wait and take my time to see what is suppose to happen for me? Keep working on myself? Or do I just go ahead with an adoption, because being a parent is what I want and then hope for the best if I'm unhappy because I have to drop my child off at daycare for 10 hours a day while I'm commuting/working? Even though it breaks my heart to say that out loud - I'm trying to be realistic about what a person is going to face. How will I work on attachment issues when my child is with someone else for the majority of her day? Sighs... this is my argument that I have with myself when I think about adopting because I can't tell if I'm being selfish for wanting a child that I can't spend as much time with as I'd like to ... or am I just worrying about things that won't really matter to me once the child is here?

Does any of this make sense to anyone ... feel free to comment - at this point I'm so frustrated I don't even know what to think? I know there are fellow bloggers out there in both situations where they work &/or don't work outside the home. There are single ladies who have adopted and who I envy at their decision making skills and their ability to make it through all this on their own. I guess I'm just struggling with what is right for me & building my family. Does anyone now wonder why I haven't moved forward with an adoption or turned in an application? I have filled them out and completed and signed them. I just can't answer these questions that loom for me like a dark shadowy cloud - so I hesitate about turning it in. When I pray about it - I still feel un-certain so I keep wondering if that is God's way of telling me it's not time for you Mandy? Maybe the thing I need to learn is listening for the signs and patience for the sign to be clear? Sighs.....

Please tell me what you all think ....

Follow up ... on Previous Two Posts

2008-06-10T06:23:00.000-06:00

So in my previous two posts ... I've talked about the fact that I'm struggling.

Have you ever had one of those times in your life where you feel like you are reaching certain goals, but at the same time other things are just coming apart at the seams? I feel like I don't have any close friends anymore; for example other than my sister and the folks that I hang out with from my 4 wheeling club. I'm really lacking in the friend department. I don't have girlfriends that I can call and grab some dinner. Girlfriends that I can call and go shopping! Girlfriends who would like to grab some coffee and talk about the day. Sometimes that just makes me feel lonesome. I feel like I used to have lots of girlfriends to hang out & chat. These days everyone is just so busy those times are a rarity.

Now I'm not at all trying to down play the time that I spend with my sister & IV - I spend a lot of time with them in fact most of my time that I'm not working or sleeping I spend with them, partially due to the lacking in the friend department. Not that I don't enjoy spending time with AJ & IV - because I do so much; it's just I've started to wonder about my life changing. I know that everyone goes through changes in their lives & maybe mine has to due with my changing jobs, changing habits, or just growing apart? I'm really not sure?

As I sit here in my goal jeans that I bought last July - I keep wondering; when you change on the outside and then slowly change on the inside - are you the only one that is effected or is everyone around you effected as well? Do I push people away by talking about the changes that I've made in my life? Is it my appearance? Is it that I'm not the same person that others enjoyed being friends with? I don't know? Maybe my struggle lies within all of these questions? I want to be honest about the fact that there are things that are happening that I'm telling you a year ago I would've sworn up and down that would never happen to me and my girlfriends.

Shortly after I started my new job; I started praying about it and asking the Lord to send me a new friend. I have made a new friend at the office and she's a great gal. She likes to go running at lunch with me! It's so fun. I'm hoping that our new friendship will blossom into having someone to talk to and have fun with! I'm very happy that I've made a new friend. I guess I just have to pray and hope that everything turns out for the best. I guess I just wonder what I've done wrong. Or is it about doing something wrong as much as it is about people changing? I don't know I guess, which leaves me a little frustrated, because I just want to know what causes things to happen. Possibly so that I can avoid said things in the future.

I know that I don't usually post about being upset or having frustrations, but I want to be honest at the same time and let you all know why I've been having some trouble posting lately. This is one of the things that is bothering me so I'm putting it out there for the world to see.... As well as the fact that I've again been thinking about my adoption wishes and it troubles me as well ... but I'll save that for my next post!

I hope that this finds you all happy and healthy! Many blessings - MandyJo

South Dakota 2008 - May 14th thru May 19th

2008-05-20T23:05:00.000-06:00

South Dakota 2008 - May 14th thru May 19th

So here is where I went on vacation in May:

http://www.recsprings.com/

I recommend staying here if you ever go to the Black Hills of South Dakota - it's owned by a father & son and they are really a great family. It's not fancy, but the food is good & they treat you like family! Papa Joe is a great guy, so is his son little Joe! I really enjoy going there with them, every year and I'm even thinking about going back in the fall to see the leaves change in the Black Hills.

So here are some pictures from my trip: I'll try to put in some info under each one.....

This is the first day ... it's me with my wheeler @ the top of one of the power line trails.

The Black Hills are so beautiful! It feels like you are on the top of the world!

Here's me & my friends Greg and Carol. At the Highest Peak in South Dakota.

Here is me catching some air and jumping over the hill! LOL! I hope to show my kids this some day so they'll know that their mom wasn't always bossy and lame! LOL!

This is Carol & Me - I think this is Terry's Peak. Can you believe we had snow in the middle of May! In some places it was hip deep! There were a whole lot of pulling wheelers out when people got stuck!

Here's me on another day! I don't think my pictures are in order because this is one of the later days when it had gotten warmer!

My wheeler taking in some sun!

Here's me, Dan, & Brandon - taking a break! You can tell it's me in the picture because my pigtails are sticking out the bottom of my helmet!

The sky is so clear and beautiful in the Black Hills :) !!

I walked half way up the power-line hill to take pictures of all the riders as they came down the hill & Dan was last so I asked him for a ride down the hill! Dan went a little faster than I was thinking he would! HA!

Mount Rushmore......

On Wednesday - I took the day and drove from MN to SD - it took me about 10 hours & then when I got there that night I just checked into the hotel and slept. Then when I got up in the morning - Dan & Bette had arrived during the night - so we went to breakfast. After breakfast there were lots of people there from my atv club and we went and rode the whole day!

The next few days: Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday we rode - I even lead the group on Saturday - I was really proud that I was able to lead such a large group of riders. We would ride all day and then come in for dinner in the evenings and then just hang out at night at the resort. In my opinion it's a really great vacation because you don't have to run around a whole lot if you don't want to... we were able to go everywhere on our wheelers - which I love! I just turned over 2000 miles on my 2006 Bombardier Outlander 650 XT - which feels like a whole lot of miles! Oh well I've enjoyed every single mile! I have worked hard to learn everything about 4 wheeling and I play hard every time I go out! I drove home on Monday and then took the day on Tuesday to relax and unpack! I stayed home with IV. It was nice!

This is Sunday - and this is the whole group lined up in front of the lodge w/ Papa Joe, Little Joe, his girlfriend and their puppy Missy. Then the turkey on the left hand side of the picture really really liked Ashley the little girl on the left. It would follow her around all weekend! Too funny!

This shows how many riders we had ... there was only me and one other in front of the wheelers shown in the picture!

Here's all of us trying to get a group picture!

More wheelers!

All of us in line - in South Dakota, you can ride 4 wheelers on the road! It rocks!

If you ever get to take your kids here it's a great place to visit for families - there are some nice images of the Black Hills in the Movie National Treasure 2 - Book of Secrets - it's a great movie so if you haven't checked it out! Think about renting it for 'date' night with the one you love! So that was my vacation! Hope you'll all enjoy all the pictures I know that I had a blast!

MandyJo

Do you every feel like this...

2008-05-13T21:35:00.002-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdOxZVOiJWM

I was trying to get out of the office today to leave to go 4 wheeling and this afternoon it seemed like my day started to go just like the above link.... take a look! It's really kind of funny yet frustrating at the same time!

(By the way I did see this on somone else's blog - but it described my day as well... so I just had to share!)

Favorite Photo on Monday

2008-05-05T10:22:00.006-06:00

Here is my favorite photo of my favorite little girl's curls :) - What a sweet sweet baby she is and I'm having a hard time with the fact that she is about to be almost a year and a half old this summer - right now she is 16 months old. She'll not hit the 17th month mark until the 12th of this month. So a few days we have left of sixteen month old IV.

I posted a picture of IV, because she always makes me smile and I had a rather rough weekend when it comes to people/friends making plans and then canceling or just really seeming like when you show up they would have rather that you didn't show up at all. I'll have to write more about this later. I'll also post about why there are no more face shots of my favorite little girl. I just wanted to say that I've been praying and thinking about all of you out there and I hope that you are doing well.
MJ

Is It May Already?

2008-05-05T08:02:00.007-06:00

I can't believe that it's May already! I am very happy to see that spring has brought so many children home to their forever families! Congrats to everyone!
Troy, Rachel & Little D - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/
Janine & Family - http://finding--emily.blogspot.com/
The O'Neal Family - http://www.oneal-itsasmallworld.blogspot.com/
Carey & Norman - http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/
and one family that has been waiting so long and I'm so especially happy for:
Debbie & Dave with New Baby Izzy - (I wonder why I love that name as well? *wink*wink) http://russianbrown.blogspot.com/

So to each and everyone of you! I'm so happy that you've come together! Congrats!

Also if anyone has wondered why I am not posting pictures of my little niece IV anymore it's because her dad EV - doesn't want her pictures posted online anymore :( - so I was asked to stop posting them online. I'm a little sad about this because she is just so important in my life, but I have to respect their wishes. So the next one that I will post does not show her little face only her curls.

I posted the above picture of me from Saturday night out dancing. I was trying to do my America's Next Top Model Pose - but I really can't seem to get it perfected! Yes I watch that show I know I'm crazy but hey I have started to like fashion just a little bit! Do you think that the hat is too much? The jeans are so cute I Love them! I like the little top as well and the boots where ones that I wear to work and just switched them to a going out outfit. Oh and I want to add a few more because I went out with my sister AJ & EV my brother in law/trainer!

I just love how my sister and her husband are so cute together! I just love it! They are adorable. Plus they look so romantic when they dance together and smile and stuff! I can't help but be a tiny bit jealous!

Here is me & AJ dancing together we had so much fun! I think I had more fun on Saturday night than I did on my birthday.
So I had some great times with my family this weekend and I really needed that time. We had dinner on Sunday night with the whole family and that was nice for us all to get together.

I have to separate the post about the stuff that was bothering me because I just don't want to lump it in with the stuff that is good in my life. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I'm hopefully going to be updating the layout of my blog soon because I want to freshen it up for spring!

Miss hearing from you all and I'm enjoying your blogs immensely!

New Picture

2008-04-03T07:32:00.003-06:00

Here's a new picture of what I look like as of today! I actually went shopping and got a suit that is my size! Plus I just picked up the peep toe shoes because they were just too cute not to get them! Just thought I would post a picture for fun! Not much going on with me right now - just working, working out, school, and I'm excited because we are taking IV to the zoo as a family on Saturday! I'm really looking forward to that! There are suppose to be farm babies at the Minnesota Zoo!

I know so many of you are going though so much right now with waiting for a referral, traveling for your adoptions, waiting for the next trip, or you just got your child home! Just wanted to say I'm so happy for all of you no matter what stage you are at with your adoption. I think it's so wonderful how the community works together to support each other!

I'm started to get excited about spring! I've even been thinking about starting to run outside to see if that will help with my weight loss. I have about 22-37 pounds left to lose and it's not going quickly! Not that I'm complaining... just stating the obvious! Hope you are all doing well!

MandyJo

Update on my Weight Loss

2008-03-18T21:20:00.002-06:00

So guess what happened when I stepped on the scale this morning? I am now in the 180's can you believe it? I've lost a total of 77 pounds. Which to me just seems to be amazing! I can't believe that I've come this far. I don't have any recent pictures to put up - but I'm hoping that I might be able to get some soon to put up on my blog. I know it's weird to say this but I don't look anything like the picture that is up for my profile. I'm still working out. Doing lots of training, running, eating right, getting enough sleep and taking care of myself. There are times that I feel like I'm working way too much - but I think that is just a fact of life at this point. I'm looking forward to Easter this coming sunday I asked my mom if we could do a family picture. I would really like to have a family picture that is current. My sister AJ and I have changed so much in a year. So has my niece IV. She has just bloomed into this beautiful little girl. She can count to 3 now! I heard her do it myself! I'm so proud of her! She is a wonderful blessing that I think was made just for me! I'm planning on going 4 wheeling on Saturday with a few friends from my wheeling club. I can't wait to get out and enjoy wheeling in the last of the snow. Maybe I'll find a cute dress that actually fits me for Easter Sunday? Well I better get to bed! I'm a tired girl! Write when you all have time I miss everyone!
MJ
*Also I just want to thank all of you who have reached out to me and sent me comments about the rough times that I've had during my weight loss and it's kind of a weird feeling when things come up like that because I look at it as no matter what I should be happy about my weight loss; but when people do things to tear you down it's just so hard to swallow? It's very hard for me to figure out who are my friends and who are not? It just seems like sometimes people push hard to make things into a competition. I just want to put it out there ... I'm not competing with anyone. I'm getting healthy for myself and my family that I currently have been blessed with and my family in the future - meaning my child/children. I want you all to know how much your support means to me and that I can put myself out there and say what is going on with me. It means a lot! I think change is hard. I mean in general change is hard for all of us; no matter what the change is - for example becoming a parent, starting an adoption, paper chasing, waiting for a referral, losing weight, moving, changing jobs, traveling for your adoption, waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, we are all changing all at times and trying to deal with the roller coasters of our lives no matter what stage we are in. I think the fact of having people to reach out to you for you to lean on and reach back to makes all the difference. The other thing that helps me as an individual is prayer - the fact that it changes me and opens me up to new ways of thinking and lets me vent. I think venting helps me because when others identify with what I'm going through it helps me realize that I'm not alone or isolated which is one of the things that gets people down. I just want to say that I enjoy all of my fellow bloggers. The highs and the lows and reading all about their trials and tribulations. It's great to have all of you as friends. Hope you are doing well!

03.08.08 - Wheeling weekend in Danbury, Wisconsin

2008-03-12T12:52:00.004-06:00

This is last weekend - I went up with a group of friends to Danbury, Wisconsin to go 4 wheeling for the whole weekend!

Danbury, WI 03.08.08

We had a good time! I spent two Saturdays in a row up in Danbury, Wisconsin 4 wheeling. I had a great time this weekend and we had great weather. A little cold for some but I dressed super warm and stayed warm even after the sun went down. If you ever get to go to Danbury it's a great little tourist spot. It was really a fun place to stay! Hope you are all doing well. Thanks for all the comments, thoughts, and responses to what is going on with me!

Open Trails ATV Club Ride in Danbury, Wisconsin

2008-03-12T12:49:00.002-06:00

3/1/08 Open Trails ATV Club Ride in Danbury, Wisconsin

Here are a few pictures from club ride!

Danbury, WI - Open Trails ATV Club Ride 3.1.08

Incase the above slide show doesn't work here's another link:
http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562746219CTCxmO

More Thoughts...

2008-03-09T18:22:00.007-06:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. So....

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

I've been thinking so much about my changing life lately. My choices are changing. My thoughts are changing. My goals are changing. My actions represent all of these things. I feel older lately, seeing the larger picture of why I do the things that I do such as working out, eating healthy, and my focus of working hard towards my goals. The other distractions just seem to be fading the the wayside. I notice little things like when music is too loud. I like going to bed on time. I like getting rest and treating myself well. I like it when I drink enough water and eat on schedule. I feel more balanced. While I enjoy spending time with my friends - my family is more my main focus. The other main thing that I focus on is 4 wheeling because I feel like every time I go riding I learn something new about the sport/past time of wheeling. However there are moments in life where you start to see things differently than you always did and you just wonder how those new thoughts and views might be leading you down a new path. Although maybe I was already going down the new path and my life had already begun to change and I just hadn't realized how different my path is from those around me - until now? I guess it's just in my nature to over analyze things. I don't really mean to be that kind of person who watches for change in others and in myself; but I tend to be one of those people who really sees situations. Sometimes this is a blessing and other times it's a curse. The ability to watch a situation and see people's motivations on how they treat you or how things are being viewed is a hard pill to swallow at times. About a month or so ago.... I was feeling really excited about my weight loss and I'd fit into a little skirt - it fit and it was so cute and I was so proud of how beautiful my legs looked and how shapely my body looked and that the size 13 little skirt fit me. I mean I wasn't that small in middle school! So I never got to wear cute little things like that when I was younger because I was quite the big girl then as well. I mean when I started out on this weight loss change I was a mere 35 pounds from 3 bills. Which is just unhealthy! So back to the skirt ... the skirt is a little plaid pleated skirt a hand me down from my sister. I loved said skirt and paired it w/ a long sleeved white dress shirt and a black sweater over it. Then tights under the skirt - black opaque - because I knew the skirt was short. Then cute little Mary Jane low (1 1/2) heels. I wore the outfit to work and got compliments on how it was very cute! After going to the gym I stopped by my sister's and she had said she thought it was way too short for work ... so I said to myself that is okay I just won't wear it again to the office. After stopping at my sister's I went to my ATV club meeting and a few of the women - who I thought were great friends - were pointing and whispering about my skirt. I guess I might have thought I was imagining things but I heard my name. So what confuses me is that when other people watch me change on the outside and maybe someone like me wants to wear something that I might not have gotten to wear when I was younger, why and how do I become the object of ridicule? Are people sick of me changing? Are they just cold? Are they insecure? And when there are others that are 'suppose' to be close to you seem bent on making you feel like you don't fit in? How is it that you should react to all of these changes and their choices? I guess I just keep praying, moving forward in my life - but I keep praying that my feet don't fail me now because I am trying to focus so hard on my own goals and let go of the people who stop and stare. I've become what I thought I couldn't be ... I've worked hard to forget about what's fair in life and just keep working, focusing in on myself and my goals. I think I'm moving on, but I don't know where. I've started to wonder why I'm here and not there where others are in their paths. I know that everyone gets scared and maybe that is the point that I'm at? Steady hands just take the wheel and steer me away from the fear. It's scary becoming what you thought you never could be and overcoming obstacles that seemed impossible. Sometimes I wonder if others can see what I see? Sometimes things pull my focus away and I stand in doubt of myself. It's one of those things about me that I don't like, but maybe everyone has these moments? I don't know? Change is a glorious, wonderful, and scary journey. I guess I just hope that others know that change in any and all forms in our lives is a miracle; and never an easy feat no matter which part of the change you are on ... the person changing or the person watching someone you love or care about change.

ATV Fun Anyone?

2008-03-05T21:24:00.002-07:00

Well this is my first attempt at riding in the winter of Minnesota with my 4 wheeler!

Open Trails ATV Club ride in Chatfield, MN on 2/16/08.

I'm the girl in the brown carharts on the red wheeler - check out my pictures! I hope that you like them! I had a great time in the snow even though we were out all day in the snow and we only went about 10 miles - let's just say we got stuck a whole bunch and ended up having to .... help each other out! Teamwork is the key!

http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/562536652cQAkEf

*I am not sure how to post the actual slide show on my blog like everyone else does with all their pictures - so sorry about that if it doesn't work just use the link above and it will take you to my webshots pages.

Chatfield Ride 02.16.08

Thinking about Life...

2008-03-05T19:01:00.001-07:00

I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place & I spill things a lot. I’m pretty clumsy & sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends & I sometimes fight & maybe some days nothing goes right but when I think about it & take a step back. I remember how amazing life truly is & that maybe just maybe I like being unperfect.

Inspired by my Grandma...

2008-03-03T12:26:00.002-07:00

Cherokee Indian Legend

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~

I got the above email from my Grandma. After stewing so long about my situation and then finally coming to terms with it last night and posting on my blog about the way that I was feeling it's been a total relief. Like now that I said what was bothering me and how I was feeling about my situation - I don't feel so stressed about it anymore. The email from my Grandma just seemed to fit; because for a while now I've felt like the little guy with the blindfold not sure where this is going? Not really sure where I'm at - I mean I know what I dream about or what I'd like to happen but it's like seeing a path when it's snowy and drifting. For those of you who are not native Minnesotans I don't know what to tell you imagine HUGE Snow that has drifted to block the path you thought you'd be taking.... maybe I just need to have some faith that it's all going to work out that I'm just suppose to be taking more time than most people.
Lost another pound this morning! That was exciting! Well I'm taking my lunch break to write this blog post. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know I've checked Carey and Norman's blog a couple of times today to see what's going on with them and there hasn't been any word yet that I've seen! I hope and pray that everything is going alright with their little girl.
Thanks for listening!

Update 3/2/08

2008-03-02T19:49:00.007-07:00

First off let me say I'm sorry that I haven't updated my blog in so long! I really miss all of you! I guess I'm at a rough patch. I am at the new job where I'm learning so much and working all the time. I can't believe how much information I've soaked up since I started and things that I'd have never even thought about that are now second nature to me. I'm working a whole lot of hours and I started school in Feb and then I'm trying to fit in training sessions with EV to lose the last part of my weight - I've lost 75 pounds at this point and I've got another 25 pounds left to go. My weight loss has definitely slowed due to the stress of the new job, school, and just generally I'm tired - more than I was before because I've got a further drive and more that I'm responsible for at the offices. I'm happy, but I still haven't met a special guy - which I thought I might if I lost weight - not that I was depending on that because I'm not I'm just concerned that with the new job to make more money to be able to afford to adopt; will I have enough time for a child and the thought of that just stresses me to the max because I took the job so that I could work towards affording the adoption and now I'm sitting in the position that I'm concerned if I'll be able to have the time even if I can afford to adopt? Does that make sense? So I'm just worried at this point. Worried about making the right decisions and the fact that I miss working with my sister and baby IV - and what makes matters worse is when I do get time to go and visit AJ, EV and IV - if I leave the room for a minute or go out of IV's sight she bawls and cries and literally has a meltdown and it's just as bad if I leave to go home to my house. Which makes me feel like the world's most evil auntie! Here is a picture of her when she was very happy! I'd just given her a bath and was getting her all jammied up! I love putting updated pictures of IV on my blog she is just so sweet and cute! I love her so much!
Although from a financial standpoint I'm doing well and working hard at paying off the debt that I'd stacked up! So that is a major plus - I know that God's timing is not my timing, I just worry if I made the right decision. I'm sure that it was the right decision if I'm able to pay off bills and still put away money and maybe I should just look at it as the fact of the matter is the job is new and I'm learning once I'm done with school and not learning so much maybe there will be more downtime; to fit a baby into the mix. Also my sister AJ keeps telling me you never know when you could meet Mr. Right and fall head over heels in love ... she is much more optimistic than I am .... I found this and it makes me a little more optimistic that maybe my Mr. Right (or AKA: Marlboro Man) could be out there - check out Ree's blog - http://thepioneerwoman.com/category/the_night_i_met_marlboro_man
So who knows - for stress relief I went four wheeling a while back check out some of my photo albums.
http://community.webshots.com/user/muddinGrl78

Also about my weight loss; Adrienne (http://our-journey-to-parenthood.blogspot.com/) asked me to post some before and after pictures - and I haven't gotten any really good ones .... but here is a link to a before - http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2645078120102633595ejvXyB - when I was atleast 75 pounds heavier if not more and then here is a recent picture from my birthday 1/26 a side view.
And here is a close up of my sister and me at my birthday - I'll have to see if I have anymore pictures that are more recent.

Here is a full body shot from the middle of January -

Let's see at this point that is what is going on with me! I hope that this post finds everyone happy and healthy! Also I wanted to tell Rachel -thank you for inspiring this post for me! I was really having a rough time knowing what to say or what to post about the way I'd been feeling! So Thank You Rachel - here's her blog link if you don't know Rachel - http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/ - Check out her blog - because I'm so happy for her! She and Troy just got their referral! Also Carey is going to be picking up her little girl soon to bring her home! I'm so happy that their family will be moving from 3 members to 4! WHOO HOO! Check out Carey's blog too! http://russianfairytale.blogspot.com/ - Carey and her mother are picking up their little girl today! I can't wait to see the pictures because the preview pictures of her little pigtails are so cute! Well I had better get to bed now because I'm exhausted! Have a great Sunday evening folks!
MandyJo

Tag I'm It....

2008-01-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Tag, I'm it!
This is the 4 things tag! Thanks April (http://vietnambabygirlsmith.blogspot.com/) for letting me join in the fun!

4 jobs I've had:

1. Nanny
2. Wendy's Cashier/worker (be kind to fast food workers it's a sad job!)
3. Customer Service Manager (DFI)
4. Property Manager & Project Manager (Construction)

4 movies watched over and over:

1. National Treasure
2. National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets
3. Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3
4. Footloose

4 places I've lived:

1. Palestine, Ohio
2. Monticello/Buffalo, MN
3. Edina, MN
4. Cincinnati, Ohio & Bemdji, MN

4 shows I watch:

1. CSI
2. SuperNanny
3. The Biggest Loser
4. Sponge Bob Square Pants

4 places I've been:

1. Bahamas
2. The Black Hills, South Dakota
3. Washington D.C.
4. Boston, MA

4 people who e-mail me regularly:

1. Alyssa my sister
2. Patti - lady I nanny for
3. my bosses
4. vendors

4 favorite things to eat:

1. Raspberries - fresh
2. Peanut Butter & Banana Protein Smoothies
3. Salmon
4. Celery Peanut butter and raisens

4 places I'd rather be:

1. Being a stay at home wife and mother - I know I'm dreaming!
2. on the beach somewhere with my family!
3. Going 4 wheeling up North or in South Dakota
4. Starting on my adoption or picking up my child in Russia!

4 things I look forward to this year:

1. starting my adoption - possibly!
2. losing those last 30 pounds - I'm down a total of 70 as of today!
3. Paying off my debt
4. Getting a Toyota Prius so that I can spend less on gas vs my truck that gets 17.5 mpg!

4 people to tag:
1. Rachel http://journeywiththewilliamsfamily.blogspot.com/
2. Becky http://russianpeanut.blogspot.com/
3. Carrie http://www.oneal-itsasmallworld.blogspot.com/
4. Brandy http://ginsbergsrussianadoption.blogspot.com/

Questions about my adoption...

2008-01-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

This blog posted started out as a response to a comment posted on my blog.... but then I felt like it kind of turned into a post so I ended up posting it instead I hope that you all don't mind. Blessings to you all.... my best wishes for you all. Please read.

I am still hoping to adopt and I haven't forgot about my adoption, but God's hand is moving in my life in so many ways. I just started a new job and I honestly don't believe it's financially responsible to start an adoption with as much debt as I'm in and the fact that I'm creating a single income family. So what I'm doing is trying to excel at my new job, work hard, they are going to send me back to school, so that I have more earning potential and yes I'm waiting on my adoption to see how the new job shakes out. I have to wait for God's timing as well as my own and yes my weight loss is a big focus right now, but everyone prepares for life changes in a different way. I have no idea where the road that God has me on is going to lead me. For all I know maybe I'm getting healthy so that I can meet the man of my dreams and we can adopt together or maybe I've been blessed w/ this new job so that I can afford to adopt on my own. I just don't know where it's leading me. Don't worry that I'm not focusing on my adoption it is in the back of my mind at all times but when you are single sometimes you have to look at the big picture and the financial key is a big thing. I don't feel that God would send me in the wrong direction. I think maybe having faith and trust is something that I just have to believe in. I know that my adoption will happen when the time is right for me. God's plan never fails. I was a miracle baby who made it through so many trials and tribulations and I've always known he has a special plan for me. As for the fact that I've been focusing on my weigh loss, I don't feel like this is a bad thing. It's taught me to work hard to persevere through hard times, to wait and be patient. To see the small changes in myself, to be aware of myself, and to really see in my life the people who are there supporting me and also to learn the tough lessons of those who are only there to support you when it's best for them. Let me say I've learned some hard lessons through this weight loss. I've learned the importance of acceptance of not only myself and my shortcomings, but what I can deal with from others who I thought were my friends. I've learned that my family is one of the greatest blessings that I could have asked for but never really knew how much they truly loved me until I stepped back and started working on loving myself. So I want to say I know that my blog has changed in the past year, but I don't think that is a bad thing. I think everyone evolves in one way or another. I haven't given up my goal of adoption even if I lose all my weight, or find the man of my dreams, or stay single - I still want to be an adoptive parent.
Thanks for listening ..... you're all always in my prayers.

Picture from Christmas

2008-01-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

Okay so with starting this new job - this week I haven't had much of a chance to post as many pictures as I would like - but here is one of my favorite ones from Christmas 2007. It's IV and I on Christmas Day after she opened the piano that I gave her. When I saw this picture for the first time it was really hard for me to believe that the girl in the picture is me - I mean as of today - I've lost a total of 69 pounds. I sometimes feel like I'm discovering myself all over again when I see pictures of me. Change in my life is one of those amazing things that it's hard to believe it if you don't see it and I'm actually starting to see the changes especially when I look back at other pictures that I've been in from months ago or even last year at this time. I love taking pictures now even more and when I say I love taking pictures I mean I love being in the pictures. Which when I was thinking about it is going to be a great thing when I get to my adoption. I mean I know how everyone loves to take pictures of new babies, but I think it's so special when you can see the bond between the subjects in a photograph. For example - I'll post some of me and my best friend T.K. you can see a glimpse into our relationship when you see the pictures of the two of us. It really just is an wonderful thing. Here are two of the pictures:

So I hope that everyone is having a great new year so far... I just want you all to know that I've been thinking about and praying for all of you especially the ones that are waiting for referrals and/or waiting to go pick up their little one! Best wishes ... MJ

New Years 2008

2008-01-12T01:04:00.000-07:00

Well this year .... on New Year's Eve - I went out to dinner with a friend. We had a great dinner. Then we went to a double feature movie. The Water Horse, a children's movie, but I really enjoyed it. I think that it would be a great movie for children to see with their parents. Then after we saw The Water Horse - we went to National Treasure Book of Secrets. Yes if you've read my previous posts I did see it before with my family, but honestly it's one that I know that I'll be watching over and over again. History really interests me. Also part of the movie is set in South Dakota, The Black Hills and that is where I went for vacation last year and I'm going back again this year. So that was something that I enjoyed seeing! The next morning I slept in and worked out just had a low key day. I hung out with a different friend on New Years day evening! It was nice and relaxing! I still need to work on getting my Christmas stuff put away this weekend! Is anyone else struggling to get their Christmas decorations put away? I just feel like lately I'm just never home to get anything done! I look forward to the time when I have children so that I'll have a reason to be home all the time. My sister and I were talking about the fact that I can't wait to be a parent, but AJ, EV, and my best friend TK think that since I'm happier than I've ever been before that they are sure that this is my year to meet Mr. Right, fall in love, and get married. Hmmmm... I guess I feel like I've been blessed in my life so much at this point if that were to happen, I'd be excited, however if it doesn't I know that I am blessed and I have friends and family who care about me very very much. I had no idea that my life would change as much as it has in the past 6 months; and I'm excited to imagine and await every day to see what's going to happen next in this wonderful adventure we call life.

A New Job & a New Start for 2008

2008-01-11T23:26:00.000-07:00

Whew .... I've waited for quite a while to post about my new job. Today was my last day at the office. For all of you that didn't know I worked for a small company doing customer service, sales and marketing. I worked with my Dad, my sister, and I got to see IV every single day. I never disliked my job, I enjoyed my boss, my fellow employees, and my clients; but I never felt like I was very good at sales. Sales wasn't something that I wanted to do it, kind of fell in my lap and I tried my best to make it happen. I'd been praying since around this time last year for God to show me what path I should be taking and if I was suppose to be doing sales could he make it work, so I'd bring in profits for the company and if it was not suppose to work then God please show me what I should be doing instead. So I kept praying and praying and on the second week of December 2007. I caught wind of a position that was open for property management and administration/project management for a construction company. What's even better - they wanted me for the position! I'm went to interview, and I clicked with everyone there! I had a good discussion about what their goals were and what my goals were and what the job would entail. So after much thought I decided to accept the new position. That was December 14th. I told my Dad that same day. I was very nervous, but it went alright and I know that my Dad understands that this is what is best for me. I'm going to be driving a little bit further to work approx. 10 more miles, but I got my 3 weeks of vacation. What's even better is that I'll be going back to school!! For me that is wonderful because I've always wanted to finish school, but I've always struggled with money and not been able to make it happen. Now I'm going to be going back to school for my new employer. I feel like my prayers have been answered. I prayed to God for him to show me a path and he has done just that! I think that I will be able to start my adoption process as long as this position works out for me! I'm so excited about this because it's the change that I've been waiting for. I feel a little bit sad because I know that I need to wait to make sure this new job works out, which I know is upsetting for my mom, because she thought that I would be applying for my adoption as soon as I started this new position. It's just that since I'm single I want to make sure that I can provide for a child financially before I go ahead and start a process that I don't know if I can finish. I'm also wondering how it will work with a full time job and going to school at the same time. I want to say thanks to all of you who've prayed for me, because I really do feel like this job was an answer to my prayers and al the people who've had me in their prayers.

Weight Loss Update for January 11th, 2008

2008-01-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

So I'm sure you folks are wondering where I'm at with my weight loss. Six months ago today, I decided I wanted to change my life and not just change my life but to be a healthier person. My aim to be a healthier person was motivated by so many things.
I think that I'd like to list a few of them.

1. I wanted to be the best parent that I could possibly be - since I was thinking I would be a single parent.
2. I wanted to be able to run
3. I wanted to be a better hockey player.
4. I wanted to feel beautiful in my own skin.
5. I wanted to be someone that IV, my niece could look up too.
6. I was inspired by my sister and the way she had/has lost her baby weight from being pregnant with IV.
7. I wanted to feel sexy.
8. I wanted to see if I could make the healthy changes.
9. I wanted to be better on my wheeler.

My weight loss wasn't something that I decided on a whim, I'd thought and thought about the things that I wanted for myself and even thought about the things that I wanted for my future family. It was something that I thought that I owed it to myself to work on even if I wasn't sure I could make it? Over the past 6 months ... (yup I started on July 11th, 2007) I have started over with myself and kind of given up control of what my head tells me is best and letting EV (my trainer) tell me what I should be doing. Should I be eating this or training here - I let him guide me. I have never felt so proud of myself and so comfortable in my own skin in my whole life. I have gone through my closet and gotten rid of clothes a couple times and one of those times I tried on my prom dress from my senior high school prom which I went to alone because I didn't have a date and you know what my prom dress was too big for me. That felt incredible. A real accomplishment something that I worked for and stuck with and I did it, for myself. I'm one of those people who never does for myself. I am always doing for others and putting myself last. After six months do I still make some mistakes and struggle to eat right? Somedays are harder than others, but I really feel like I'm not scared to keep working towards my goals. Today is a special day for a couple of reasons. I've made it through six months of training, I have lost a total of 66 pounds, and I'm under 200 pounds, which is something I never thought would happen. I really want people to know that if you put your mind to a goal you can do it. I know that I couldn't have done it with out the support of my trainer EV, my sister, and my family and a great group of friends who are all so supportive. I know that I'd like to lose atleast 39 to 50 more pounds. I've enjoyed seeing my body, face, and looks change and it's funny when people don't recognize me or when my dentist asked me if I got gastric bypass surgery. I've inspired people to eat healthier, workout, and make healthy changes in their lives and that is something I never thought I could have done. The Lord has blessed me and in turn my blessings are inspiring and blessing others and that is the greatest gift I could give myself or someone else.

IV's Birthday Celebration

2008-01-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

So when you have a neice and she is so sweet like IV - you just want to talk - which here means BRAG about her all the time! IV has been such a blessing for so many reasons. She makes me smile, laugh, look at life with brand new eyes. Her first birthday was wonderful. My Grandma Runner came up to visit for IV's birthday; she got in on a Wednesday night and then stayed until the following Tuesday morning. My sister had some vacation time and took a few days off so that my sister AJ & baby IV - could get in some quality time with Great Grandma! Then on Saturday we had IV's birthday party. She had two cakes. Lots of people at her party. Family, Friends and another little boy who was so cute. IV really got the hang of ripping the paper off of packages. She got a tricycle from EV and AJ. Mom and Dad got her a little grocery cart. She got lots of books and toys. I got her a little vacuum cleaner that sings & teaches the alphabet. I also got her a cute little winter outfit w/ cute sweater and brown cord pants. It was great to be able to spend some time with my family.
During the past few weekends, I've had so much time with my wonderful family. We had some good talks, we played some cards, watched National Treasure Book of Secrets-even IV went to the movie. She slept most of the way through. Her smart mommy planned the family going to the movie during her nap time. I would recommend the movie to any of you that need an idea for a date night. National Treasure the original was a great movie, but the second one was just as good. If you don't check it out on the big screen, make sure you check it out on DVD. My dad and I went Christmas shopping on Christmas eve for my mom, which is always fun - even though the roads weren't the greatest. Much to the rest of my family's dismay Dad and I took so long shopping for mom we didn't get home in time to make it to Christmas eve service at Church. :( It was good to spend time with my Dad though and just having time to talk to him.

I wanted to let you all know that I have pictures that I'd like to add to these blogs, but what has happened is - I was so busy with work at DFI - that I didn't get a chance to write my blogs and update you all on everything over the last week I was at work. I ended up taking my computer home (with all my pictures on it) home yesterday! I am going to work on getting internet at my house, but as of right now I don't have it at my house so I'm posting from a computer at the family I nanny for. I have some great pictures from IV's birthday and I think that right now I'm only missing one post and that one would be for Christmas... hope you all had a great Holiday! I've enjoyed reading all about you guys! Pictures to come.... MJ

Late Post on Girls Night Out....

2007-12-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

On the Saturday after Thanksgiving 11/24/07.... I went out w/ a few of my girlfriends dancing. I'd like to tell you about a few of my friends. TK is one of my best friends I've known her since I was probably 11 or 12. It's very rare these days when friendships last as long as ours has not that we haven't had good times and bad but the point of it is that we've stuck with it. Whatever we face in our friendship we work through it sometimes it maybe tough or it may take time, but we always work through the hard times and try to be there for each other. The other thing about us is that we have totally different lives. TK has been married for 10 years to her high school sweetheart, her anniversary was just last week and she has four beautiful little girls. She is one of those people that I could tell anything and not worry that it would be the end of the friendship if she didn't agree with me. In some ways we are a whole lot a like and in other ways we are night and day type of different. I know that she is one of those people who has stood by me in times when I was struggling to make it. TK has been such a great supporter of my weight loss & just me in general. TK works full time and takes care of her husband and the kids and spends time w/ her family. We try to make time to talk on the phone or txt or email. We don't always get together as much as we'd like, but I know it's not for lack of wanting to be together. I admire the way that even though it must be hard for her to see my position in life, she always tries to see my point of view and I really enjoy that about her. TK and I have always liked to go out dancing it's just one of those things were we can lose track of time and have so much fun! The outfit I was wearing in the pictures from this night 11/24/07 was a goal outfit that I'd never fit into before. It felt so good :) not only to acheive something that I thought was impossible but to have TK there to celebrate it with me! She is just one of those people who I really care about and who really cares about me! She inspires me to do and be more and to not settle for that I'm very Thankful that I've been blessed w/ a friend like her. So here are a couple of pictures of the two of us!

This is my friend KT - I guess we met about 5 or more years ago, playing hockey for the Buffalo Thunderbirds. We were the youngest two on our team and hit it off and we've just always kept in contact. KT is one of those people who I can really relate to because she is single and my age and still looking for that Mr. Right. KT and I liked to work out together, go shopping, catch movies, talk, and talk or just play some hockey. Last summer we even played on a men's league team. That was a blast. Not to mention the locker room was always interesting. She and I both have one neice, we both have sisters who are married. Our parents are still married! She likes cars and I like 4 wheeling, but we just have a whole lot of fun together. I tend to push her beyond her limits to have her try new things like.... going out dancing. This was her first time and she did great and we had a blast. KT is also one of those people who has been really supportive about my weight loss and also my plans to adopt. Katie is a really great friend.

It's really great to have support from your close friends when you are working on such major life changes. I'm happy to say that I'm really blessed in this department, because not only do I have a great family, but also great friends who I feel are more like family! Merry Christmas everyone ... and as it's closing in on New Years I hope that you are all planning on celebrating whatever you've made it through this year or even celebrating all of the wonderful things to look forward to in 2008. Just so you know I haven't forgotten... I made a little list of things that I need to post about and here they are ...
in no certain order. IV's birthday, Grandma Runner coming to visit, My new job and quitting my previous job, and Christmas. Hopefully I can get everything posted before the new year comes so I can start fresh and not be behind!

11/25/07 - Girls Night Out

Great News.....

2007-12-19T14:44:00.001-07:00

http://www.childrenshopeint.org/Russia.htm

Hopefully this will mean adoptions will start running faster in Russia for Children's Hope International!

Lost Battery Charger...

2007-12-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

Okay .. so usually I don't like to do negative posts! It's just that I'm very frustrated that I've lost the charger to my digital camera! I'm wondering where to go to replace it! My camera is less than a year old I bought it for myself as a birthday gift last January! How could I have lost the charger? I use that camera for so many things that I just can't believe I misplaced the charger some how! I guess I'll have to go to National Camera and Battery and see if they have a replacement that I can buy or order. My grandma IAR is coming to visit on Thursday for IV's birthday and then IV's birthday is on Wednesday so I definitley can't miss these major going ons! Well I hope that the holidays are all going wonderfully for all of you! Also on Wednesday Alivia (http://baby-story.blogspot.com/) is having surgery. So could you all keep her in your prayers! She is a sweet little one who was adopted from Russia as well. I'm hoping that since her surgery is on Wednesday IV's birthday it will bring little Alivia good luck. Also Alivia's mom Jeana - just posted Alivia's cute adorable Christmas pictures! Check them out! Have a wonderful day everyone!
Blessings -
Mandy
Update ... I just looked all through my truck because my sister suggested I check there and guess what ... no charger! Back to the drawing board on places to search!

What Happens when the phones & internet go down at the office ...

2007-12-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

What Happens when the phones & internet go down at the office ...

So all summer construction crews have been working down the street from our offices and even right in front of our offices, but besides causing traffic to be crazy we haven't really noticed them all that much. Until one day in November - we come in and all the sudden ... no phones... no internet... no nothing! Atleast we had power because it would've gotten very cold in the offices with no heat! So the question is what do you do when you have no heat at the office?
Hmmm......

Well since there isn't really anything to do in your office you might as well go out of your office and look around for something to do..... this might be a challenge as what could there be to do when you don't have any phone or internet....

Man... this looking for something to do is a tough job....

Ahh Ha... Here are some filing cabinets these don't need to use the telephone or the internet!

What is this other worker trying to do .... show me up? I better get in there and get some work done!

I'll show her how it's really done!

What are all these empty hanging folders doing in here .... looks like I might need to de-clutter!

Let me take this one out and well I'll mark it up w/ my highlighter while I'm at it make sure everyone knew I worked on it!

Geez ... this folder is outta here!

Now this is organization at it's finest! So glad this drawer looks so much better!

Hope you all have a good day! This was too funny not to post of IV!

Thanksgiving.... just a little bit late!

2007-12-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving this year was a rollercoaster ride. I digress ... let's go back a little bit to the weekend that my friend JM came to visit. I found out that weekend that the lady that I nanny for had decided that since her husband had to work and have meetings during the week that they were suppose to go to Palm Desert, CA and the husband wouldn't be able to go on the trip with them that she would like for me to come along! WOW! I was so excited especially since I've never been to CA. Plus I live in Minnesota and it's cold here in November. So cold that I haven't even wanted to really go 4 wheeling! Which if I'm turning down going wheeling you know it must be cold because 4 wheeling is just about my favorite thing to do! So the thought of spending time in Sunny California - I was just so excited! I barely knew what to do with myself. So I got ready and packed! We were suppose to leave on the Saturday before Thanksgiving and I would fly home w/ MK on Thankgiving night because she had a weekend hockey tourney to go to! I was so excited and the only draw back in my mind was that I would be gone for IV's first Thanksgiving. So we get down to the Friday afternoon before Thanksgiving & I get a msg from the lady that I nanny for that the husband has changed his mind, he's going and now I'm not going to have a seat on the jet. Then she asks if I can watch the dog while they are gone and so I said yes, but I was very disappointed. The girls were very said especially MM and MJ - of course I didn't really know what to say other than I wished I was going too, but it was not to be. So I ended up watching Kirby the dog and had a whole long list of things to get done, I had taken 3 days off of work and ended up going ahead and not going to work just because I needed a break and I had such a long list of things to do for the lady that I nanny for that I was lucky to get it all done on Wednesday so I could pack up Kirby the dog and take him out to my house, it's about an hours drive. To top things off IV got sick and I ended up watching her on Wednesday for AJ my sister. So it truely was crazy. I managed to drive home on Wednesday w/ a whiny dog, a sick baby and all my stuff packed into my truck. Geez it was quite the hour drive. So I got up the next morning and made bran muffins to share w/ my family and headed over to my sister's who was hosting Thanksgiving dinner. I even brought Kirby the dog! So we had a very healthy meal and I didn't overeat this year which I was very proud of myself for especially with my weight loss going so well at this point! I've lost 52 pounds and I only have 48 pounds left to lose. My weight loss is still going, but it's going slower now than it did at first. I knew that would happen - but it is harder to stay in the same place on the scale for longer periods.
We watched the Macy's parade, played w/ IV, talked and hung out as a family. We just had so much fun and it was so relaxing this year. I'm going to post some pictures that we took on Thanksgiving! I hope that you all had great celebrations with your loved ones.... From my family to yours: Happy Holidays! Blessings & Prayers - Mandy

So now here's what you've all been waiting for the pictures right :) !!! The first one is my family: EV, AJ, Me, IV, Dad & Mom.

In these photos my mom is trying to show IV - kirby the dog in his holiday sweater!

What was really funny about Kirby and IV is that she would grab the back of his sweater & he would pull her along trying to get away from the toddler's mighty grasp! So comical!

This is my Dad and IV - she loves him so much and he loves her too it's just too cute!

This is my Mom and IV - she loves being a Grandma and can't wait to have more Grandbabies!

This is my parents w/ IV and I just love this picture - I took it and I said: "Wow... I just really got that moment you know!"

This is EV, IV, & AJ on their first Thanksgiving as a family of 3.

EV & IV - so sweet!

So last but not least I couldn't leave out a picture of me and my baby sister AJ!

Happy Thanksgiving all... I've enjoyed reading about all your holidays! Thanks for Sharing!

Girls Weekend ...

2007-11-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

So this weekend one of my best girlfriends in the whole world.... JM came up to visit w/ her very very cute daughters! We had a girl's weekend and it was so much fun! WHOO HOO! JM's grandfather lives near me & JM, her husband and the girls live about 3 hours North of where I live. So it was quite the time this weekend and I don't think I've seen them since well it must've been March, I guess. We did a whole bunch of girly type things .... such as braiding hair! I braided both girl's hair (CD & KF)! It turned out super cute if you ask me! As I braided CD's hair I said a quiet little prayer to God that I might be blessed someday w/ a beautiful little girl who likes to have her hair braided. On Saturday after visiting w/ JM's Grandpa, they came over to my house to see my mom & IV who were waiting to see them. We played w/ the baby although neither one of the girls like babies very well. Tee hee it was kind of cute because IV being the little personality that she is decided it was okay that they didn't like babies she was going to follow them around anyway! I had been collecting clothes to give to JM and I gave her 3 huge boxes of clothes to use for work, home etc. I'm so happy that I could bless their family with something that I could no longer use; especially when I've been low on money and have been concerned about affording Christmas presents. I was just glad that they came down to visit and pick them up because the boxes were very heavy and would've cost a mint to send in the mail. After playing fashion and going through all the clothes we had a quick trip to the store so I could grab a few things and then head back home, where I got to make dinner for everyone :)! I love to entertain. The girls even liked my food. I made baked chicken w/ potatos, green beans, and whole grain bread - although I did catch my oven mitt on fire and then proceeded to forget about and burn the top of the bread. Opps... never said I was perfect. Either way we had quite the laugh. We ended up cleaning up after dinner and getting the girls in the jammies & the girls picked out a movie and we made popcorn and watched Cinderella 2. Actually we only made it through part of the movie and we were all tired so we crashed. The next morning we all got up and it was very quiet. I made some homemade blueberry muffins and eggs for breakfast which went over very well! I even packed two muffins for JM's husband. After the girls took a bath, I braided hair again! It was too cute the day before not to braid it again, and we just hung out at home talking and playing w/ the girls. After having some Subway for lunch we all worked together to pack up the car for them & that was when we realized how warm it was outside and so I asked JM if I could take the girls for wheeler rides quick before they left.... CD was so good and so excited on the wheeler. She just loved it. Not scared, just so excited and she didn't mind the bumps and the hills or even a little mud! What a wonderful way to cap off a great weekend! I took KF for a ride too but she kept telling me I was going too fast so we slowed it down to 10 miles an hour vs. 15. KF is more of a princess little girl and younger than her sister.... not so adventerous! KF did say at the end that she decided she liked the wheeler when it didn't go too fast! Tee hee! So all's well that ends well I guess! Here are some pictures from the weekend they were all taken on Sunday right before they left because we were having so much fun before hand .... I have to say I honestly forgot about the camera till the last minute!

CD & KF - sporting their cute little french braids that I did for them :)!

This is KF, me and CD together ... the both said they can't wait to come back to Manda's house and KF tried to pull me into their car at the last minute before they left! How Sweet is that!

JM, KF, and me .... sorry I'm squinting in all of the pictures ... the sun was so bright and I'm really not use to that!

Me & CD my new little wheeling buddy... I told her next summer that we need to get her some muddin' boots and a helmet so I can take her up North Trail riding ... but we'll have to make sure and bring the SPF 50 since we are both fair skinned beauties!
Hope everyone had a great weekend! I know I had so much fun! A big thanks to JM for coming down to visit w/ me and bringing her beautiful girls! Happy Monday all.......

I've Been Tagged...

2007-11-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Everyone....

I was tagged by Rachel to list 8 random things about me. So here goes:

8 Random Things About Me...

1. I love to clean around my house and organize. I also love flylady.net - it's one of my favorite sites, besides the blogs.

2. When I was growing up until we moved to Minnesota (when I was 11), we had atleast 12 horses at all times. I grew up in a large farming family. My Grandpa farmed, my uncle farmed, and so did my dad part time. I started riding horses at 2 or 3 and I don't know if I am now, but I used to be a very accomplished rider. I miss horse back riding so much & maybe I'll marry a country boy so I can have horses again someday.

3. I am one of those people who is really good w/ children and animals (even though I'm allergic to most animals & have asthma). It's been that way since I can remember. I'm the one in the grocery store or at the park who smiles at children and they smile and wave back at me even though I'm a stranger.

4. I went on vacation by myself to the Bahamas & had a blast. I've learned it's easier to make friends than I ever dreamed it could be. I also learned that being on your own and being your own company is one of those things that everyone should learn how to do. Loving yourself & who you are is very important.

5. I enjoy all types of music! Pop, Jazz, Classical, R&B, Rock, Rap, Dance, Ambient, Folk, Country... you name it I've probably got some of it on my iPod.

6. Someone asked me a few days ago.... if I had to pick my two favorite things to do what would they be...... I didn't think for two seconds before I said watching IV & going 4 wheeling. Watching IV is the best because she is just a wonderful baby. She smiles and laughs and is working so hard on trying to talk. IV loves it when you chase her around or when you play peek a boo. She rarely cries or makes a fuss, it's only when she is hungry, tired or has a dirty diaper. She is good at signing when she wants too & I love the way at night right before bed she snuggles with you, it's so sweet. 4 wheeling is wonderful because going up north is one of those things where it's nice to get away from the world for a day or two. No traffic, no loud noises, no craziness, no work, just exploring and trying new things. I like that I can go up north on a Saturday morning get muddy, climb hills, ride fast & hang out w/ friends. Then that same night go home shower clean up and go out dancing. It's almost like I get to explore another part of myself. I can't wait to go to South Dakota next May... it's only November and I'm still so excited.

7. I love to have house guests & host dinners at my home. I love to cook & watch people enjoy my banana bread or my muffins - both of which are pretty famous from the people who know me well! I like that I have a spare bedroom for guests to stay the night so I can make the nice breakfasts or healthy dinners for them to share w/ me. I love cleaning and getting the house ready for that and lighting the candles and picking out beautiful fresh flowers from Sam's Club. I love being a homemaker. Oh and if any of you make your way up North to MN give me a call, I've got a room open till it's transformed into a little nursery!

8. Which brings me to my last one... I'm sure that you already know this - but I'm excited about being a mom. I've always dreamed of being a parent and growing up I didn't really dream of a career as much as I dreamed of being a mom. I wanted to be a strict, but loving mom. Someone that my child would love & respect. I want to be the first one to hear about all their accomplishments and even the failures too... because to me it never mattered on having anything be perfect just having the family would be enough. I hope that I'm lucky enough to have it all someday. A wonderful husband to love who loves me and a child atleast one if not a few more than that. I know that God will bless me even if it is his time frame that I'm waiting for. I don't mind if I have a child that is hand-picked or home grown, but I've always wanted to adopt - and I know in my heart of all hearts that love has nothing to do with DNA or biology.

Thanks Rachel for tagging me... it's been a good post and reminded me of quite a few of the things that I'm thankful for in my life, some of the great memories I have of growing up and also some of the things that I have to look forward too...

So for me I'm thinking I'm going to TAG ... SIRA, JEANA, and CHRISTY

National Adoption Month

2007-11-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

Since it's National Adoption month - I've been inspired by Becky and Debbie to change my font colors to purple! I tried to find a new template to turn to purple, but since I was unsucessful. I'm sticking with the text! Not much going on this week for me. With the weather changing I've been battling my asthma, which is the first time I've had any kind of trouble w/ my asthma since I started training w/ EV back in July. I was very shocked on Saturday when I was helping a friend move, that my asthma just came from no where; although I guess I should have known because in his old house they had dogs, cats, and birds. I don't know if I've blogged about this before or not, but I've had asthma ever since I was about 2 years old. I have lots of allergies to pets - most all kinds - and dust etc. Which is probably one of the reasons why I'm such a neat freak now a days. So I finished helping packing - but I knew by the afternoon that I wasn't feeling the best. So I missed Amy and Ryan's (http://rileyadoption.blogspot.com/) Jewelry show on Sunday :( ! I'm very disappointed. I am hoping to get to catch their next one soon! Plus w/ Christmas coming up - I think that I can take care of two things at once - get some Christmas presents & help them fundraise to bring home their little guy! I've also been thinking about contacting April (http://vietnambabygirlsmith.blogspot.com/) to see if she has any of the beautiful T-shirts left to sell for Christmas presents for the guys in my family! Does anyone else have any good ideas for Christmas gifts? Shh.... don't tell I already got IV her birthday and Christmas presents... she got bedding from Pottery Barn Baby.... IV's bedding is lavender and matches her room. My sister did such a beautiful job. I'll try to post pictures sometime soon! Here is a picture of the bedding though....

I think it goes along w/ this month's adoption theme. For all of you out there who are looking to decorate nurseries and might be interested in the bedding...
Here is the link: http://www.potterybarnkids.com/room/rom/romnur/romnurisa/index.cfm?cm%5Ftype=snav
Hope everyone is doing well! Keep posting! Mandy

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T13:05:00.001-06:00

Good Afternoon Everyone -
I couldn't help but post some cute pictures of IV today! She is 10 months old and so sweet! We love her more and more each and every day! I'm sure all families say that ... but I just do love her so much! So can anyone guess what IV is going to be for Halloween? She's too small to eat candy, but I still think she looks just precious!
Before:

TaDa.......

Little Miss Ladybug!

I don't know if I told you she started walking around last month! Right before she turned 10 months she just started toddling around ... even though she's only 17 pounds!

Here is IV and the proud Mama AJ..... I hope that everyone has a happy and safe Halloween... keep the pictures coming! I love that everyone shares! I enjoyed Owen's and Iliya's so far! They are so cute! Love to all your families! MJ

The Nanny Diaries Post ...

2007-10-30T22:26:00.000-06:00

So I'm sure all of you knew that I'd have to see The Nanny Diaries Movie.... I'd read the book when it came out quite a while back. The movie itself was very hard for me to watch. Not because I have a bad situation where I nanny at .. but because I've been in the main characters shoes where you just love the children so much you just wish that it was different than it really is... in other words from my point of view I've always been dreaming of the time when I'd have my own children and I'd be the 'Mommy' - the one that they wanted at night & when they had a boo boo or an owie. I'm trying hard to focus on the positive things in my life, such as family, friends, my weigh loss, exercising, 4 wheeling. I don't have the money to start my adoption and I'm afraid things are just not going to come together for me. Although I wonder in a sense if the reason why I can't afford things right now is because it's not the time for me to start or I'm just not waiting and being patient for God's plan. There are somedays, I just feel overwhelmed by the fact that I'm working two jobs and I'm still not able to save the cash to get through the first part of my adoption - my goal has been to save up enough money to get through submitting my dossier. Right now I only have enough money to get through the homestudy visits. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has struggled through this point in their adoption journey waiting to have the cash to start is just frustration. I keep thinking that I'm working on myself right now & I'm loosing the excess weight (I'm down 46 lbs. & have only 54lbs. to go) and getting healthy so that I'll be able to be a great mom to my child, so in my own little way I am working on the process. I haven't had much luck w/ searching for a new job that makes more money so that I wouldn't be forced to work two jobs to make ends meet, but I know that I need for that to happen because when I have a child I won't be able to work evenings, nights, and weekends anymore because I'll want & need to be home w/ my child. Something else I've been thinking about is going overseas to Russia to just volunteer in an orphanage. It's just that it would use up the money that I've saved towards my adoption. I've got plenty of vacation time left. I actually have 11 days of vacation left for this year and to volunteer in Russia they are two week stays. It would just seem like while I would be doing well for the children that I'd be helping in the time that I was in Russia I wouldn't be working towards the goal of adopting a child on my own. Which brings me to another thing that happened not to long ago... while I was talking with a family member... (who I'm sure did not mean any harm by the statement) the comment was made that now that I'm losing weight that I'll be able to have children the right way after I get married. The comment hurt my feelings very badly not because I wouldn't want to have bio children if I was married but because even if I get married I would still like to adopt because it has touched my heart and my very soul. So after trying to express that fact .... I was informed that if I could have my own children ... why on earth would you want to go through adoption it's so expensive and time consuming. The person just kept on about the cons of adopting and my heart just felt so sad and weighted down by the fact that I wasn't being supported in wanting something because I felt like it was the right choice for me. Have any of you had similar experiences?
Also I want to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of my blog friends who prayed for my sister. After some trying times she is back to herself for the most part and has been doing great! IV is still able to breastfeed and everything has worked out wonderfully. All the prayers worked! Thank you all so much.
I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in so long, things have just been so very busy w/ work and the fall season. I've been spending as much time as I can w/ my family and also working as much as I can w/ the christmas season coming up soon! I enjoy all of your blogs and thanks so much for sharing your journeys and lives w/ me. - MandyJo

Prayers for my sister...

2007-10-15T07:42:00.000-06:00

Good Morning Everyone ....
I hate to start the morning out w/ bad news - but I need help with a prayer request for my sister. On Saturday night I was coming back from 4 wheeling and I'd had a rough evening anyway - my friend's trailer blew two tires on the way home from Nemadji forest so it took us 4+ hours to get home on Saturday night. We were all of about 15 minutes from home and I got a call from my brother in law EV that my sister AJ needed to be taken to the ER and could I come and get IV. Well you know me...we got there as quickly as I could and my sister couldn't walk her back pain was so bad and EV had put her into the truck and they were just waiting for me to get IV. So I scooped up IV and put her into the car seat and into my truck and took her home as EV took my sister to the ER. AJ has some kind of pulled muscle or nerve in her back and she is on pain meds and can't walk very well. The kicker of all this is she isn't suppose to lift any kind of weight for atleast a week. Which wouldn't be a problem if she didn't have a baby. So I kept IV overnight and then all the next day till about 5 p.m. I'm just asking for prayers not only for my sister to get better but so that she can stop taking the pain meds so that she'll be able to keep nursing IV. IV is a breastfed baby and so healthy and I would hate for my sister to have to give up this bonding early - because of her back. AJ has not had back problems before so I'm hoping that it will get better. Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers. MandyJo

Oh and I couldn't remember if I'd posted a picture of AJ and I so here is one from a week ago Saturday night. We went out downtown dancing. We had so much fun. My sister is my best friend and I depend on her so much. I just love her and want her to get better more than anything! Love to you all and your families.

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

2007-10-03T14:48:00.000-06:00

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

ONCE THERE WERE TWO WOMEN WHO NEVER KNEW EACH OTHER;
ONE YOU DO NOT REMEMBER, THE OTHER YOU CALL MOTHER.
ONE GAVE YOU A NATIONALITY, THE OTHER GAVE YOU A NAME.
ONE GAVE YOU THE SEED OF TALENT, THE OTHER GAVE YOU AIM

TWO DIFFERENT LIVES SHAPED TO MAKE YOURS ONE.
ONE BECAME YOUR GUIDING STAR, THE OTHER BECAME YOUR SUN.
ONE GAVE YOU EMOTIONS, THE OTHER CALMED YOUR FEARS.
ONE SAW YOUR FIRST SWEET SMILE, THE OTHER DRIED YOUR TEARS.

THE FIRST GAVE YOU LIFE AND THE OTHER TAUGHT YOU HOW TO LIVE IN IT.
THE FIRST GAVE YOU A NEED FOR LOVE AND THE SECOND WAS THERE TO GIVE IT.
ONE GAVE YOU UP; IT WAS ALL SHE COULD DO.
THE OTHER PRAYED FOR A CHILD, AND GOD LED HER STRAIGHT TO YOU.

AND NOW YOU ASK ME THROUGH YOUR TEARS,THE AGE OLD QUESTION THROUGH THE YEARS,
HEREDITY OR ENVIRONMENT, WHICH ARE YOU A PRODUCT OF?
NEITHER MY DARLING, NEITHER. JUST TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE!

I found this poem on alohababymooreblogspot.com & it was too precious not to share, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did! - MJ

CSI, Weigh Loss, New Quote... and Inspiring Happenings

2007-09-27T07:55:00.001-06:00

9/27/07 - Tonight is the first episode of CSI - Season 8. For all of you that don't know it's my favorite show! The only one that I really enjoy watching - I'm not really a big TV fan - more than anything I enjoy movies, but I love CSI and would even go as far as saying I wish I would've gone to school to be a lab tech or a field investigator. For all of you that already watch CSI - I'm sure that you know that Sarah has been kidnapped by the miniture killer & tonight we find out if Grissom and the CSI Team can find her in time.

Here's an update on where I'm at with my weight loss - I'm down 37 pounds. I know a few of you have asked me what I'm doing and the biggest thing is my brother in law EV - is training me. Personal training is something I never thought I would end up doing but it's worth the work & it is hard work. It's definitley 20% of losing weight. The other 80% of losing weight is what you eat. So I don't know how everyone feels about eating a certain way but if you are interested read on and if not ... then skip it & please don't read. Losing weight is 80% what you put into your body. You need to drink water which we all know - but don't put processed foods in your body. I have stopped drinking pop, juice, alcohol, coffee and have limited my beverages to organic skim milk and good old water. I don't eat processed white flour anymore. I don't eat hardly any food that's been processed. I only eat whole wheat bread w/ whole grains, fresh fruits, fresh veggies, lean meats, proteins, such as egg whites, legumes, and brown rice. Sometimes to add variety I'll eat protein bars or protein shakes - but I carry the protein bars w/ me incase I get into a pinch where I'm hungry and there are no healthy choices. The weight is coming off and for the first time in years I feel good, tired sometimes from working out - but healthy overall. I know I used to drink a big coke and just keep going when I was tired and now I go to bed early when I'm tired. I'm fitting into clothes that I haven't fit into in years? Actually I don't remember when I weighed this amount because I'm guessing it must have been back in high school or shortly there after? I eat 5 times a day - I know there are a few people out there who have been worried that I must have been starving myself to be losing all this weight but that isn't the case. I'm actually able to run for short periods on the treadmill something I've never been able to do before. Not that I actually want to post my start weight and my current weight but my goal is about 63 pounds that I have left to lose. I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 16. I just want to be a healthy parent for my child and since I'm going to be a single parent, I think having healthy attitudes toward eating and food is going to be important. I don't want to pass down my bad habits to a child. That is just not fair. I know this in not for everyone and this isn't about me trying to be 'perfect' it's about me being the best parent I can possibly be & if it means that I have to wait a little while to get started on my journey because I need to get my head in the right frame of mind and my body in shape then so be it. I know that w/ out the support of the Lord and my family I wouldn't be where I am today. I also know that I can do this! If anyone has specific questions or comments that they'd rather not put down for me in a comment because they are private please feel free to post a comment w/ your email addy attached and I'll email you!

I haven't really blogged much lately it's been more of a post here about prayer requests or something I've done on the weekends. More over not really thoughts on where I'm at with my adoption pursuit. I wanted to tell everyone about my weight loss because right now I know that I'm focusing on the weigh loss and I know that if I can make the weight loss happen, I can raise the money for my adoption and go through the what if's and what will I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is when I started my weight loss track on July 11th - I took a leap of faith & I was forced to trust in God, myself and EV my trainer that if I followed the path laid out for me that I would be able to do what I had started out to do. This does not mean that I'm planning on waiting till I've lost all 63 pounds before I send in my application. Just last night I re-read through my application and I want to send it in, but I'm still concerned about the financial aspects.

Inspiration... on Monday night and Tuesday night of this week, I spent time w/ IV. On Monday night my sister AJ has a volleyball team that she plays on and EV her husband is usually training people in the evenings so IV and I hang out at my house during volleyball (there is a strict no child policy at volleyball - I'm guessing it's a Mom's night away type of thing). IV inspires me and reminds me that it is my dream to be a parent and while I love being her Aunt and I love her more than she'll ever know - it tells me that I can't wait until I'm the mom. On Tuesday night was AJ & EV's anniversary of the first day that they met so I offered to watch IV so that they could have some couple time - a romantic dinner out! So IV spent the night at my house and she is just a joy to have around in all senses of the word Joy. She is learning her signs (all done, more, eat, drink), she's learned to say 'Manda', she can say 'icky' when I change her dirty diaper. She has started to stand on her own in the past few weeks. IV walks between furniture as many as 4-5 steps on her own. She loves the bath and I love doing her hair! I can not wait to be a mother to a child who needs one. IV shows me every day that I was meant to follow my dream of adopting and that when the time is right everything is just going to be wonderful. I believe it will be. I'm going to leave you with a quote that I found on one of the other blogs that I read this past week and some pictures of IV and IV & I together. May all of you be blessed.

This is right after IV had a bath and was all jammied up as I like to call it!

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

*IV always holds my hand when she falls asleep, it's one of the things that I love most about watching her... someday when she's older I can't wait to show her this picture and remind her just how much she is loved and how much love she gives as well.

Blog Friends - Prayers for Alivia's Surgery

2007-09-20T08:11:00.000-06:00

Good Morning Everyone ....

One of the ladies that I've met through CHI - Jeana - her daughter Alivia is having surgery today! Please keep this family in your prayers. Jeana is a single mom who adopted Alivia from Russia. Here is a link to her blog if you don't already read it. http://baby-story.blogspot.com/ Thanks so much! Have a wonderful day!
MandyJo

A Great 4 Wheeling Weekend...

2007-09-18T07:41:00.000-06:00

Well I definitely had a great time up north in Nevis, MN. Talk about a beautiful area! My atv club (www.opentrailsatvclub.com) went riding this weekend and it was beautiful weather. Maybe a little cold in the mornings and Friday was pretty chilly, but for the most part a really good fun ride. We didn't find a whole lot of mud, which is my favorite, but we did have a blast riding the power lines. You'll be able to see what I mean in the pictures.
Powerline Trails.....

More powerline trails & yes I went up and down these trails on my wheeler. I know that some people ended up walking because the trails were too steep for them - but even though I get the nervous butterflies in my tummy. I'm proud that my skill level is going up and I'm practicing the skills that I've learned. *Note: inexperienced riders shouldn't try this without knowing their limits and the limits of their machine.

This is me & my friend Bart - oh and just so you know yes I have mud on my cheek. I got stung by a bee on Saturday afternoon while riding and I put mud on the bee sting since I didn't have any after bite or benadryl. I'm sure it sounds funny but it actually helped it to stop itching and for me to just keep going since we were quite a ways out on the trails.

Much to my delight - my group ran into a few people who'd gotten themselves stuck in a mud bog/wetland & I ended up pulling out a guy, who was stuck w/ his honda atv w/ my Bombardier Outlander 650 ... and much to my delight ... I couldn't help but giggle ... Tee hee ... 'you got pulled out by a girl & that girl was ME!!' Talk about some great times. In the pictures you can see how deep in the guy was stuck - plus I had to pull him out pulling up hill - that was quite a task. There were two guys stuck and they'd had their girlfriends riding on the backs of the machines and the girls & the guys were covered in mud waist deep. Dan ( the guy who fixed my wheeler) - pulled out the second guy. What a blast and a great way to spend a saturday afternoon! It was so much fun!

Oh and I couldn't leave out the picture of IV trying on my helmet on Thursday night before I left for wheeling. She and my mom came over to help me pack up my stuff. This pictures is of the future wheelers club ... current memebers:1 - IV

I hope that you all had a great weekend! I wanted to send congrats out to April and Brandon who got their last documents for baby Marlee and are officially paper pregnant! I'm so happy for them! Also Carey & Norman have met their baby girl and she sounds wonderful! Not to mention the fact that she's already decided that they are 'her' parents! Too cute!

Nursery Decorating ...

2007-09-13T11:37:00.000-06:00

I wanted to post something about this nursery set that I saw on JCPenny website. I found this nursery set with the butterfly theme and I just think it's beautiful. I must be interested in bugs because I just back and forth between ladybugs, butterflies and dragonflies. Maybe my muchkin will grow up to be an entomologist?

Also this will be my last post till Monday or Tuesday, because I'm taking some time off and going out of town w/ my 4 wheeling club. I need a break from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Packing up and heading north! Sometimes a girl needs a chance to clear her head. Also I want to thank everyone who took the time out for my prayer requests. The family from my church should be landing soon safe and sound! Hopefully all of you will have a wonderful weekend! I'll take pictures this weekend and then I'll post a blog and put them up so you can all see what I've been up to!
MandyJo

P.S. Let me know what you think of the nursery bedding?

Urgent Prayer Request!

2007-09-13T10:10:00.000-06:00

Good Morning Everyone ....

One of my favorite blogs http://waitingforsophie.blogspot.com/ - it's a story about a little girl who was adopted from China Sophie Lu - her mom Shana has just gotten some horrible news from the doctors about Sophie's eyesight. I was hoping that everyone would be able to put little Sophie Lu and her family in their prayers because it's just so heart wrenching to hear that the little girl is legally blind and it may or may not be able to be corrected? So if you'd like to go and read what Sophie's mom Shana has posted here is the link http://waitingforsophie.blogspot.com/ - Thank you in advance for your thoughts for this adoptive family!

MandyJo

A Family from my church...

2007-09-10T10:17:00.000-06:00

Happy Monday to all out in blogland ...

There is a family from my church in China right now traveling to pick up their little girl Zia. I would like to have everyone include this family in their prayers. The family is Kirk, Susie, Sophie, and baby Zia Wulf. I'm also including a link to their blog www.ziabellajourney.com. A few months back on the night that I had an appointment to talk to my pastor Ruth Ann about my adoption hopes - I'd gotten into town a little early and went to the church and Pastor Ruth Ann wasn't there yet so I thought to myself it's silly to drive home and then drive back - I'll run to the little bookstore and see if I can look for some books on adoption while I wait. Lo an behold I met Susie Wulf and she is so sweet and talked w/ me about adoption and adopting their daughter Sophie & about being in the process of adopting another baby from China. So I think it was meant to be that night that I happened into Susie's little bookstore so that we'd be able to talk about adoption and she would give me insight into her own experiences, while also giving me a little boost before my meeting with Pastor Ruth Ann. My meeting with the pastor went very well that night, but remembering that Susie was so sweet to me has always been another one of those signs that Adoption is in my future. Thanks for the prayers... MandyJo

P.S. I hit the 30 pound mark in my weight loss this morning. I'm so proud of myself now if I could only save money as quickly for my adoption as I'm loosing weight!

So Small by Carrie Underwood

2007-09-06T15:42:00.000-06:00

So Small Lyrics - by Carrie Underwood

Yeah, Yeah

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change

And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem
So small

Yeah, yeah

I found this song a week ago on iTunes & I've honestly always loved Carrie Underwood. It's just this song touches my heart. For reasons that I don't even know if I'd be able to explain. God works in mysterious ways that I've only come to learn in the past few years. Not that I didn't believe that God had a hand in my life and destiny; I believe that he's always lead me to where I'm suppose to be but it depends on how I try to resist or if I listen to his "God Breezes" that he sends my way. If my mind is set on what I want and I follow the direction that I feel him pushing me ... I have to believe that road will not only lead me to a more fufilling relationship with God, but also a life full of love and happiness. I met w/ a close friend of mine last night and she pointed out that I've been looking for a sign to go ahead with my adoption. I think she is right that I do need a sign. I need it to 'feel' right. I need to feel cofident that I'll have the finances to support myself and my child to be that I want to adopt. So at this point I'm praying for some light and also looking into some new career opportunities. I'm so close to having all the mishaps that 'happened' last month taken care of and off of my plate - so I can focus on going forward. Thanks to all of you that have been so supportive near and far and especially to my girl ... who I had a wonderful and long chat w/ last night. I've missed spending time w/ you buddy - you know who you are - you and your family are in my prayers as well as all my adoption blog buddies ... luv ya all - MJ

Last quote of the day ... hopefully

2007-09-06T10:31:00.000-06:00

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.
-Steve Jobs

Another Quote :)

2007-09-06T10:29:00.000-06:00

Success is the sum of details.
-Harvey S. Firestone

New Quote...

2007-09-06T10:22:00.000-06:00

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
-Friedrich Hebbel

Completely Horrified ....

2007-08-31T11:11:00.000-06:00

At lunch I was checking CNN.com for world news and I was horrified to find this story about orphans. My heart and prayers go out to these children.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/08/30/btsc.chance.nukes/index.html

I can't wait to have the funds to be able to adopt a child and bring her home safely.

Blessings

2007-08-29T11:56:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for my family - my sister who always listens to me & puts up with me just lavishing all kinds of attention on IV, and IV who always makes me smile, and my brother-in-law EV - who is the best trainer and is helping me to get my body to work for me! I'm thankful for my mom who is supporting me no matter what I decide on my adoption. I'm thankful for my dad who didn't get upset with me about the accident w/ my truck last Monday 8/20.
My sister took a couple of pictures of me holding IV today & I'm in a picture sharing mood so here they are intermingled in a long post.

I'm thankful for my friends Dan & Bette- who have been giving up their free time to help me fix my wheeler w/ out taking it into the dealership - so that I don't get over charged.
I'm thankful for my friends Jen & Lyn - who live far away from me but still make an effort to email me, read my blog, post comments, stay in touch and just be all around wonderful girlfriends.
I'm thankful for each and everyone of my new blog friends: Debbie, Becky, Adrienne, Sira, April, Melissa, Rachel, Carey, Christy, Jeana, & Amy. I hope I didn't miss anyone - who has given me positive responses and encouraged me even though I'm nervous and dragging my feet at this point.
I'm thankful that I found CHI and my contact Ali - she is so sweet and I enjoy every time I talk to her or get an email from her!
I'm thankful that I know that when the time comes for my adoption to take place that I've got a support network like this and people who've been so giving and caring - that I'll be able to learn from there experiences and hopefully pass on my knowledge to those that take this journey after me!
Okay I promise this is going to be my last post for today. Debbie's blog inspired me to count my blessings & w/ the post about the girls I nanny for I want to say that those three little girls and their family are a blessing to me.
I'm very blessed by God and I'm thankful for his hand in my journey to my adoption.
May all of you out there count your blessings.

8/28/07 - My Nanny Job ...

2007-08-29T11:35:00.000-06:00

The girls who pretty much have inspired me to adopt are the little girls that I nanny for quite often if anyone has read my whole entire blog you'll know that I refer to them as MM (12), MK(10), MJ(7) - so since they've been so proud of me that I've lost 25 lbs so far, I took pictures with each one of the girls so we'd have a spot to remember where we were at when I reached my first BIG goal. I just thought I would share the pictures with you all! Hope you are having a wonderful day!

This is a picture of me & MM - she has grown from a sweet little girl into a wonderful & caring preteen! MM has become not only some one who is a great cheerleader, but she is smart & helpful. When I see her help with her little sisters, it reminds me of her mother & myself. I'm glad to have been a part of watching her grow up. I love her bunches.

This is a picture of MK and me - she is the one who brought up adoption to me in the first place. MK can be a challenge, but she teaches me lots of things. When I say that she teaches me - what I really mean is that I learn about not only how to deal with kids that aren't simple, but I learn more about myself and how to deal with the tough spots. How to work through it and then still have a positive attitude an hour or two later. MK is a great hockey player & I love helping out with her team. MK is a blessing to me in more ways than I will probably ever know. I love her so much.

MJ is so sweet. She looks at the bright side of life, she always has a smile and in turn spreads that smile to everyone she encounters. She loves to get dressed up & look cute. I love MJ - because she brings out the silliness in me & makes me smile. This is bedtime last night w/ MJ - we took this picture right before taking turns reading the Mudge & Henry book, after that it was hugs & kisses & lights out!

8/29/07 Quote of the day...

2007-08-29T11:25:00.000-06:00

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. -Rita Mae Brown

Adoption Support Group

2007-08-28T07:47:00.000-06:00

Guess what everyone! I found an adoption support group that meets every 2nd Tuesday of the month, in my town! The Community Center hosts the meetings and I can't believe that the small town that I live in has an adoption support group! So next month I'm going to go and meet other parents who've adopted, who are in the process or are prospectives like me! I guess the sun does come out ... maybe I just needed to give it some time! Hope you are all having a wonderful day!
MJ
Oh and since I don't have a whole lot of exciting pictures on my site .... last weekend I was w/ my sister, her husband and my neice - in Target! IV (my neice) and I were bored of shopping w/ Mommy and Daddy ( they just bought their first home) so we went to find some fun in the baby isle! Tee hee ... so this is what happens when you let IV and Manda alone in the baby department to try out some of the things that Manda would like to get for her new baby that she is going to adopt! See the pictures below!

So this is IV trying out the carseat that I'd like to get for my little one!

So now we all know what happens when IV and Manda are let loose in Target with a digital camera! It might get wild! LOL! Oh and we had a total of 5 people come up and ask if IV was a product model! LOL ... that was even more funny! I can't wait to put these in her 'Adventures at Target' Scrapbook Page! Hope you are all having a great day & this made you smile a bit! IV always makes me smile !

Inspiration & Update as of August 23, 2007

2007-08-23T09:30:00.000-06:00

So as I posted on my last blog I’ve been so nervous about turning in my application to CHI! I appreciated all of the wonderful comments that I received from everyone. As much as I’d like to say that I have the money to take out a home equity loan – I’ve only been in my house 3 years as of this month. For raising the funds for my adoption – I’m looking at fundraising and working extra. Or trying to find a job that pays better w/ hours and locations that might make it easier for me to be a single parent. Right now I work about 30 minutes from home and while I was trying to wrap my head around all of this the week that I was going to turn in my application – I just felt overwhelmed by too many what-ifs. So I thought it would be a good idea to head up North on a Sunday and get some 4 wheeling in with some friends, sometimes this helps me put my worries into perspective. While up 4-wheeling – I realized the dealership that maintains my 4 wheeler sent me out onto the trails w/ out any coolant & it overheated. We got coolant and started out again. Then I got the wheeler stuck in some sandy mud & blew the CVT belt and the clutch. I ended up getting towed back to my truck & loaded up and went home – utterly defeated. So I took it into the dealer to get it fixed to find out the repairs would be costing $2500.00 – knowing that the money that I had saved up was the adoption money (and I wouldn’t use that) – I brought it home broken and in pieces. Feeling just pure frustration about trying to go and have a good time and ending up disappointed w/ not only myself, but also my situation. So fast forward a week, because I’m trying to figure out how to get the wheeler fixed (in case I’d want to sell it to help pay for my adoption). On Monday – I get into a car accident. So now my truck is in the shop getting repairs & I’m hoping to get it back this Friday. The question that I’ve been asking myself is it just not the time for me to apply for my adoption or is God just trying to say if you can make it through this rough patch – then you’ll be able to make it through the adoption journey that I’ve laid before you? Which I know that I just have to have faith, but when the world keeps knocking you down – sometimes I wonder if I’ll be able to keep everything going in spite of all these obstacles. So if anyone is wondering where I’m at this is why I haven’t turned in my application, but looking on the bright side of things – maybe God is trying to tell me that my child isn’t ready yet. Maybe I need to realize that God’s timing is not what I want it to be & God will decide when the time is right. If anyone has any insights to share let me know. I’m hanging by a thread lately that is why I haven’t posted or placed comments. On the bright side I did read something I really enjoyed on April & Brandon’s Blog.
I found this on April and Brandon's - Baby Girl Smith Blog & I aspire every day to create a loving home like the one that is reflected in the writing below. Thank you April for the inspiration. Some days we all need a little bit of inspiration and in the hard couple of weeks that I've had I think that it's important to reflect on not only where we are at as individuals, but also what we strive to become.

Here is what Angela Thomas Guffey says about grace in her book Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul:

How to Know Where Grace Lives

* All the neighborhood kids want to hang out at the house where grace lives.
* There is always enough for one more where grace lives.... one more for dinner.... one more to sleep over.... one more hug.... one more kiss.
* You can see people dancing where grace lives.
* You can hear things like, "Please forgive me, I was wrong.... You are my treasure..."
* The eyes of the children where grace lives shine with joy and anticipation. They have not been wounded by impossible expectations. They have not been distanced by rejection. They have been embraced and accepted and loved.
* The moms at the house where grace lives are just regular, everyday moms,
But God lives inside them. By His power, they are becoming holy and righteous
And good. They stumble but recover quickly. They make mistakes but say, "I'm
Sorry." They get blown by the winds of heartache and adversity, but their hearts
remain tender toward God.

Inspiration is the key for me right now. Prayer. Positive Thinking! Oh something else I want to share is that I’ve lost 21 lbs in 7 weeks by working out, training, & eating healthy! Albeit all of the problems that I’ve faced I’m still managing to take care of myself. Could that be a sign that if I can make it through all the disasters and still keep on task – that the journey that I’m trying to get started on will work out if I just keep working on it? Thank you all for listening to me pour my heart out. MJ

Incase you were wondering ....

2007-07-31T21:20:00.001-06:00

I'm trying to gather my current financial information together so I can submit my application to CHI by Friday. I just want to say right now that I'm terrified about the money. While that is the only part that I'm scared about - it's what has kept me from applying before now anyway. So if you get a post from me saying that I'm going to wait another month because I'm just terrified of the cost or what if I am not elligible for any grants etc etc .... - I know that it's going to take a leap of faith, I just have to take a deep breathe and jump right? I've been praying every single day about this ... please Lord show me the path that I'm suppose to be taking. Thanks for listening folks :)

Does anyone know how I can start a fund for people to donate or for me to put money into as I save for my adoption? Do I need a non profit or a tax id number? Just wondering? Let me know?
MJ

Research on an International Adoption Doctor :)

2007-07-27T10:32:00.000-06:00

Minnesota International Adoption Clinic

University of Minnesota
International Adoption Clinic
Dr. Dana Johnson
420 Delaware Street NE, Box 211
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55455
Tel: 612-626-2928 FAX: 612/624-8176

So after some searching on the internet - I found an international adoption doctor, plus while this doctor won't be close to where I live. The doctor will be about an hour or so away from my home. So that is good :) - now onto the search for a pediatrician. Hope you are all having a good day!
MandyJo

Oh and on the bright side :) of my research today it looks like they have a list of pediatricians who have experience with International Adoptions at the same place ... I'm adding the link because I don't really know if there might be some others in my area who might need the same information that I've been looking up! Here is the link to the doctor's page that I've found. http://www.umphysicians.umn.edu/clinics_objectname_Pediatrics_International_Adoption_C.html

Adoption Credit

2007-07-25T08:48:00.000-06:00

Adopting in 2007? Your Tax Credit Just Got Increased! WOOHOO!!

Good news for those who are adopting or finalizing an adoption in 2007:
The Federal Adoption Tax Credit limit is being increased to $11,390 for a child with special needs and the maximum credit allowed for other types of adoptions has also been raised to $11,390.
You can exclude this tax credit from your gross income for qualifed adoption expenses paid or incurred by your employer under a qualified adoption assistance program in connection with your adoption of an eligible child. The credit begins to phase out if you have modified adjusted gross income of $170,820 or more and is completely phased out if you have modified adjusted gross income of $210,820 or more.

I read this on someone's blog and thought that we could all benifit from thinking about this - which means tracking our adoption expenses and making sure that we know where our money is going, taking care of ourselves financially helps us to provide for our families. Love to you all... MandyJo

Quotes from the Bible...

2007-07-24T08:38:00.000-06:00

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phillipians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Lifestyle Changes & my Adoption...

2007-07-20T08:36:00.000-06:00

Well I just had to share with you all that I've lost 11 lbs since I started training w/ my Brother EV (AJ's husband & IV's dad!) I'm so excited. I have to admit that I've always struggled with my weight & part of my committing to the adoption, was that I refused to pass down my bad habits to a child who needs me to be the best mom that I can be. So I'm very proud of myself because I want to be the best parent that I can be and I'm working on it and seeing real results. It feels so good to see and feel things coming together.

Other highlights...
Adrienne - wrote a very touching blog that I really enjoyed reading! Oh and Owen is so cute & the developments are amazing! Great job to the new parents!
Nathan and Melissa are in court today for little I so keep them in your prayers!
Congrats to Becky and Keith who decided Kras was the place where their little peanut is waiting for them!
To Sira - Max is getting cuter and bigger with each and every post! I'm glad that he likes preschool!

On another note - I told one of my neighbors that I was thinking about adoption and she came down on me like a ton of bricks on how hard it was going to be & how I was way too young & how I had no idea how expensive it would be & that it was definitely something that she didn't think that I could handle on my own. I have to say that I was crushed by her reaction thinking that she'd be happy for me and she just really looked disappointed more than anything. I know I shouldn't think about this ... but would her reaction have been different if I was married & wanted a child? I guess I should prepare myself for more reactions like the one I got last night. It's just disheartening to know that there are people out there who would deny me adopting because of how hard it's going to be and all of the negatives vs. the positives that yes while it might be very hard & I might have to do more on my own - I would be making a difference in the life of a child who might not otherwise have a chance at a life with a real parent, a real home, a grandma & grandpa, an aunt, an uncle, a sweet cousin (IV) and two great grandmothers, a great grandfather and a loving family. Here is the other positive I have always wanted to be a parent. It's just something I've known that I was always meant to be. I think at this point I'm going to have to take the leap of faith and know that not everyone out there is going to be supportive and I'll just have to deal with it as it comes and roll with the punches.

To all the people who read my blog - Thanks for all your support it means so much to me.

Russia Accreditation Process Proceeds...

2007-07-16T12:02:00.000-06:00

Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Russia Accreditation Process Proceeds
Children's Hope received news that eight international adoption agencies, seven based in the U.S. and one in France, received their accreditation in Russia on Wednesday, July 4. Although Children's Hope was not one of the first accredited, we welcome this information and are excited the accreditation process has finally begun!

As the accreditation process proceeds, we will be notified of the timetable for the next batch of agencies to be accredited. New updates will be released as specific official information is received.

Sue Ellison
Russia Program Director

While I know that quite a few of my blog friends keep me updated on the accreditation progress of Russia. I know that some of my family reads my blog and might be interested to know that Russia is sending out accreditation to adoption agencies and I'm hoping and praying that CHI will be next in line. I copied the above update from the CHI website. Hope this post finds everyone happy and healthy! - MandyJo

Daydreaming of a nursery ...

2007-07-13T12:52:00.001-06:00

Work has just been horrible today. My boss is so crabby and really we aren't that busy - it's a beautiful day outside! I just wish I could get out of here and go do something fun! Like shopping, 4 wheeling, gardening ... anything just out of the office. So instead of focusing on the crabbiness ... I've decided to take a few minutes and dream of better things... take a look let me know what you think?

Oh and for all of you that are waiting ... if you want the website ... it's www.kidsline.com

Reading on Adoption...

2007-07-13T12:18:00.000-06:00

I started to read this book last night it's from Amazon.com and it's called Adopting On Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adoption for Single Parents by Lee Varon. It's an amazing book and I can't believe how much information is packed in between these pages and questions that I've been thinking about and that I've been asked by the people in my life are all right there in the book. I know that most of the people out there are probably adopting as a married couple, but if anyone knows someone who is single and looking to adopt, I'd recommend this book to them. It has such a wealth of information and also it's written by a woman who adopted as a single parent. I'm hoping to finish up with this book in a week or two and start on this book: The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption - so that I'll have some material read and researched under my belt before I turn in my application. I usually don't have internet access on the weekends - so if you don't hear from me that is why leave me any comments or messages and I'll get back to you as soon as I can... Hopefully all of you will have a great weekend! MandyJo

The Light of my Life....

2007-07-12T12:54:00.000-06:00

Okay - I've talked on my blog about my sister's baby IV - well here she is - her initials are IVA - and I always refer to her as IV. She is my neice and I love her very much. She wore this cute little outfit that I got her today! So I thought that you all might like to see who I'm bragging about. She turned 7 months old today! I've been spending quite a bit of time with my family & her dad EV is my personal trainer. My sister AJ has lost all her baby weight and is just looking beautiful. I'm so happy for her. Now I need to be getting in shape so I can be a good parent for my child to be. I hope to be posting new and improved Manda - pics in a few weeks. Hopefully those who are waiting for their babies will see IV and smile! Oh and the picture was taken today at the office. AJ brings IV to work everyday. She is a delight to have at the office. Have a great day! - MandaJo

Where I'm at ...

2007-07-12T12:41:00.000-06:00

I've been asked a couple of times where I'm at in the process. Well I'm in a holding pattern so to speak. I promised myself at the beginning of this journey that before I took a leap of faith and submitted my application to CHI - that I would do research. Spend time alone. Think about life. Pray. Make goals for myself. Enjoy life as a single person. Make sure that I'm making the right decision. That I'm not jumping in with both feet before knowing that I can do this - without planning anything. So I promised myself I would wait until August 1st, 2007 to submit my application. So that would mean I've waited and thought about the adoption for six whole months. I'm sure that some people are like Amanda - what are you waiting for? Here's the little catch though - I know that adoption is the right thing for me. I know it in my heart. I know that there is a child who is meant for me - probably not even been born yet. I'm just a scared. I'm scared of how on earth am I going to pay for this? Where will the money come from? What if I can't figure out the money during the adoption? Maybe this is because I'm alone that I'm worried about these things? Actually it may sound silly, but I'm not worried about any other part of my adoption, but the cost. I'm not worried about a baby that won't sleep, I'm not worried about diapers, teething, or tantrums. I'm not worried about baby food on my walls or spilling juice on the floor. I'm not worried about messy baby room or lots of laundry or staying in on Saturday night watching a disney movie. I'm not worried about missing 4 wheeling - my mom has already decided once a month it's going to be Grandma and the baby day - so I can have a little bit of time to myself once a month. So I guess I started this blog to meet people and share experiences and see if there are other people in my shoes so to speak who've taken the leap of faith and it's worked out for them? I was out on Saturday with my mom and I went to this small shop/store it's called wooden hearts & I found a sign that I love and I bought it ....
On the sign it reads:
God doesn't give us what we can handle
God helps us handle what we are given.
I pray in my heart of hearts that this statement is true, because I'm going to submit my application and pray that I figure out a way to make it all come together. I appreciate all the support that I get from those of you that read my blog & a special thanks to Sira - for inspiring this post.

okay frustrated...

2007-07-10T08:35:00.000-06:00

So I can make it work with my blog posts - just not with the profile part :( - The picture shown below is one I did for my last boyfriend ... obviously ex boyfriend because I'm single now. I just did some really cute pictures for him. I like them so I thought I'd use them for my profile... well if anyone has any ideas let me know!
MandaJo

Can't figure out ... putting a profile image?

2007-07-10T08:32:00.000-06:00

So all of you professional bloggers out there - is there a certain trick to getting a profile picture up? I've not had any luck? I wanted to get a picture of me up there so that everyone will know what I look like because I'm always reading their blogs .. but I've not had any luck... any pointers please share .... MandaJo

Bedtime

2007-07-05T22:27:00.000-06:00

Okay folks ....
I've been online way too late tonight - but I wanted to get the story of how I got here to be put down somewhere so that I won't forget and hopefully I'll be able to tell my child someday how God lead me to the road that lead me to adopting. I hope you all enjoy reading my blog. I know I love blogging. I also enjoy all of the blogs that I read too! So if you are on my list at the bottom of my page kudos to you. Night and sweet dreams!

P.S. I'm hoping that I can do my nursery in Ladybugs like this one from kidsline.com? What do you all think? Let me know?

How this all came about - #2....

2007-07-05T22:13:00.000-06:00

A few days later I was picking up MJ (who is MK's little sister) from swimming lessons, and in the locker room there was a beautiful little girl sitting right next to us. The little girl must've been about 2-3yrs old and her mom was getting her ready for her first swimming lesson. MJ who is six noticed that her mom and the little girl didn't match.... ( the little girl was dark Haitian w/ braids & the mom was caucasian). MJ spoke maybe a little too loud and the mom overheard and as I was saying sorry about that - the mom said no we just adopted her from Haiti. She is going to her first swimming lesson. I explained to MJ that when a child is adopted it doesn't always look like the parents. The mom was explaining about the adoption and where they went to MJ and MJ was just soaking it up like a little sponge. The mom was saying how beautiful MJ was and how much she looked like me and MJ laughed and said Manda isn't my mom but she's beautiful like me. MJ reached out and held my hand. I told the mom that I was the nanny and she said she would've never known because we look alike and I'm so good w/ MJ and I thanked her for the compliment and told her how sweet and beautiful her daughter was. I told her that I loved the braids and wondered if my neice IV would have braids like that. IV's dad is from Kenya and my sister fell in love on study abroad. They got married and had IV and I always dream of what she'll look like when she gets older. We got ready to go and said good bye and good luck and it dawned on me that this was the third thing that had happened in a matter of weeks that had pointed towards adoption. It was the week of my 29th birthday also, which I was dreading because I'd always dreamed of being married with children at this point in my life. So the next day at work at lunch time - I started searching online for adoption information. I looked on the BBB website and found an agency - but after contacting them I found out that they didn't do Russian adoptions. That agency pointed me to CHI - Children's Hope International. I sent an email out to the contact in my area - Ali & low and behold she emailed me back later that day. The email let me know that they did take singles to adopt & that I was in the age range where I'd be elligible. She said they had a meeting this coming Saturday not but 15 minutes from my house. Funny enough my Saturday plans had just cancelled that morning. So nervous I didn't know what to do with myself I dressed on Saturday morning and drove to the meeting. I was the only single person there and I felt - out of place - not because of anything anyone said or did - but seriously - I thought children need 'parents' not just a parent. Through the whole meeting I was soaking everything in and Ali told us how they had single people who adopted. I was sad to hear that China & Columbia were both closed to singles. (Technically Columbia will let single women adopt but the child has to be 8 yrs old!) For me an 8 yr old isn't an option incase I don't get married one day. So after the meeting - I stayed after and talked to Ali about all kinds of things. Why I wanted to adopt? What interested me in adoption? How this all came about? How I'd always dreamed of being a parent. How I nanny all the time, and I love the kids chaos and all! She said to me ... something I'd never dreamed of hearing .... Amanda ... did you ever think that maybe God was preparing you for the child that you were meant to have? I never thought of it that way but maybe she's right in the past 18 years I've watched so many children I don't know if I'd be able to count them all? At one point I know it was for more than 20+ families. Children have always been such a huge part of my life, maybe that is why on my birthday I was feeling such disappointment with where I was at in my life? I'd always thought that if I didn't hurry up and find prince charming there would be no babies in my future. At this turning point in my life - I've realized that it's okay now if prince charming is taking his sweet old time. I think that God has a plan for me and he's been giving me the signs and pointing me in the right directions. All I need to do is follow his lead and let him show me the way. So after talking to my mom and my sister both and getting wonderful heartfelt reactions from both of them. I talked to my pastor at church. I've talked to a counsler. I've talked to a few friends and now I've made new ones on the blogs. I went and applied for my passport and got it last month. At this point I have all the paperwork that I need to fill out, the only thing I'm scared of is the financial side of the adoption? How will I afford the cost? Where will the money come from? I think that is the only thing holding me back from filing the paperwork tomorrow.

That's all for now feel free to comment or send me your advice.... love - Amanda

How this all came about ...

2007-07-05T22:00:00.000-06:00

Someone asked me a few days ago - how this all came about for me. So I thought I might add a little bit of my story to this blog to remember how everything did come about.

Back in January - which may seem like a long time ago at this point - I went on a weekend hockey trip with one of the girls I nanny for while her parents were in Australia. While there at the hockey tournament, I was watch a game and a nice woman sat down beside me with a beautiful baby. Well if any of you know me I just couldn't resist talking to the baby & then the mother. We were talking about the hockey game and the girls playing - her daughter was playing on the team against MK's team (the little girl that I nanny for). So she was asking me about my daughter and I confessed how much I love MK, but she's not mine and I am only her nanny. Then I was asking about her daughter and then came to ask about her other children and she said she had a son who was 12 and her daughter was 9 - MK's same age. I laughed to myself and said something about how's it going with a baby and two older kids that you have to run around so much. She said that her baby was an unexpected blessing. I laughed again and I said 'oh an oops baby' she said: no she's adopted. She told me the story of the baby's mother who was young and not able to take care of the baby & she and her family felt it was a sign from God that they were meant to adopt. She and I sat talking enjoying the game. She asked again about MK & how she couldn't believe she wasn't my little girl. She said that as much as I loved children she couldn't believe I didn't have any of my own. I laughed a bit and said - well you know Prince Charming is around here somewhere, but he just keeps forgetting to answer his phone. She asked if I had someone special in my life and I admitted that I didn't. She said that is too bad. I told her how much I enjoyed talking to her and how beautiful her baby was and we parted ways. That was my first sign I just didn't know it yet....
That same weekend MK & I made friends w/ a mom and her daughter. We spent a fair amount of time with them because the girls both play defense for hockey. They MK & J - got on so well that it was just a great time all around. So when we came back from the hockey trip, I spoke to MK's mom and said J is a really nice little girl we should have her over for a play date. Since I nanny part time - I came back a week or so later and MK was really giving me a rough time that night. Not listening, not going to bed, just general behavior from a 9 year old who doesn't always like to cooperate. I'd gotten her into bed and honestly to let all of you know I'd just about had my limit & I'm one of the most patient people I know when it comes to children. All though I sometimes say that God sent me MK so that I would learn to go beyond my limits & this was one of those nights. MK was finally in bed, w/ teeth brushed, gone potty, and kisses. As I go to shut the lights out she says she has a big secret to tell me and I'm thinking - she's stalling. So I tell her that she would be more than welcome to let me know in the morning but it's past her bedtime and she needs to go to sleep. So then she starts begging about how it's a big secret and she can't tell anyone she promised. It's about J her new friend - that she just got to have a play date with the other day. At this point I'm worried thinking oh no - if I don't listen and it's something horrible. I'm not protecting the child. For all I know it could be something ... horrible. So against my better judgement, I turn the lights on and go back into the bedroom and sit on MK's bed. She tells me about her play date and how J told her a secret and that I have to promise not to tell. Sighs.... This is one of those adult moments where I promise, but I was thinking I'm not really promising if it's something horrible. So she goes on to tell me that J is adopted. That if J wants to tell someone she can't but if she doesn't want to tell someone then she doesn't have to. MK felt so special that J - her new friend had picked her to share this with. I thought the same thing. Wow! She told you it's great! Then I asked MK what she thought about J being adopted? This is what I got...... Well Manda - I think it's special. Cuz J needed a family and now she has a great one. MK goes onto say.. Manda - I've been thinking about you and how much you love all of us ... (her sisters MM & MJ) and even though you are a part of our family. If you ever wanted a family of your own... I think you should get an adopt-a-kid. MK goes on to say... You are so good to us and you love us so much .... you'd make a great mom for someone who needed one. At this point I'm struggling not to burst into tears and there were tears rolling down my face. MK hugged me and I told her I loved her and thanks for letting me know how she thought I'd be a great parent, but I told her that I didn't think that I made enough money to adopt a child. Then ... she looked me straight in the eye and said "Manda - don't worry we'll figure out a way to get you the money to get an adopt-a-kid." Now this and all of this coming from a child who I love to death but can test my patience better than anyone I know! Can you believe it? So I said good night to MK and tucked her in again, but as I shut her door my heart just welled up with emotion. Are all these things just happening for no reason? Are these signs that I'm just choosing not to see because I'm worried about being able to 'afford' to have a child of my own. I went to bed that night with a million thoughts swimming in my head. Just trying to make sense of all these events....

More to come on how this all came about in my next blog....

More quotes ....

2007-07-05T21:21:00.000-06:00

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
--- Mark Twain

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pray to God, but continue to row toward shore.
--- Russian Proverb

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
--- An ancient Chinese belief

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown

Our children are not ours because they share our genes...
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night,
is how love really works.
--- Unknown

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger

How Could You Know?

As you lay sleeping far away as still as you could be...
How could you know the joy today this photo brings to me?

A few short weeks and you'll be mine, and "I" will soon be "We".
How could you know the love I feel? It's something you can't see.

So have sweet dreams, my precious babe. Sleep well and tenderly.
Some say that you're the lucky one. How could you know it's me?
--- Kris Laughlin

I found quite a few of these quotes ... here http://www.karensadoptionlinks.com/inspirat.html in case anyone is looking for some inspiration.

Regret.....

2007-07-05T21:18:00.000-06:00

I’d rather regret the things that I have done, than the things that I have not done.
--- Lucille Ball

Whenever someone gives me the speech of you are so young to give up on getting married and having children of your own. Your man is out there ... just give it some time. I think of the above quote. I believe that if I adopt a child and I'm single and the right man comes along he's going to love us both.... no questions asked. It's just the plain flat simple fact that I'd rather not look back in ten years and regret not following the path that God has laid out for me to follow. Am I too young maybe ... but I'd rather be too young than too old not to want to take that leap of faith.

The Single Road ....

2007-07-05T21:17:00.000-06:00

I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
--- Robert Frost

Kisses in the Wind

2007-07-05T20:56:00.001-06:00

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where I am ... what's taking me so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

I found this quote tonight while looking online and I just fell in love with it. So I'm posting it on my blog and hoping that my prayers will be answered and all my questions silenced.

Another quote...

2007-07-03T10:18:00.001-06:00

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
- Vincent van Gogh

Working things out ...

2007-06-26T16:27:00.000-06:00

Being that I'm planning on becoming a single parent, I've been working hard on getting my finances in order. I 'm doing things to get bills paid off. I'm starting with a personal trainer in July - to become more healthy and athletic. I'd guess you can call it working on myself and searching my soul for what I think is best to feather my nest to be. My CHI representative - Ali has been so supportive when I email her with questions and concerns. I know others have asked me why I'm waiting or thinking so hard about applying. I guess it boils down to the fact that I always thought I'd be married. That I'd have that other person to lean on and support me when I took the plunge into parenthood. That being said now that I'm where I am in my life and would like to become a parent even if I don't marry. Adopting would be such a blessing for me. It's just daunting looking at how much it costs and then trying to figure that out on a single salary.

Adoption Quote

2007-06-20T08:33:00.001-06:00

I found a new quote about adoption that I really love so I'm posting it on my blog so that others can enjoy it as well!

"We witness a miracle everytime a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who waited to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands." - Kristi Larson

Weighing in on Submitting My Application to CHI

2007-06-19T08:55:00.000-06:00

Why Russia ....

I actually read these stats on Riley's Adoption Blog, but I'd heard about these issues before ... reading them again when I'm so close to submitting my paperwork to CHI just breaks my heart.

More than 700,000 orphans are living in 2,000 state-run orphanages. Of those, 95 percent have a living parent unable to or unwilling to care for them. That doesn't include the estimated 2 million to 4 million homeless orphans living on the streets and in railway stations.

Of those who are not adopted and leave the orphanage between the ages of 16 and 18

50 percent of the girls become prostitutes
40 percent of the children become addicted to drugs or alcohol
40 percent commit crimes
10 percent commit suicide
Also...

Just 1 in 10 former Russian orphans becomes a functional member of society.
132,500 children are abandoned to the state in Russia every year, up from roughly 67,000 in 1992.
Nearly 4,640 Russian orphans were adopted by Americans in 2005, down from a record 5,865 in 2004.
13 out of every 100 children adopted by Russians are eventually returned to the orphanage.
40 million children in the former Soviet Union are living in poverty.
Sources: Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation, the Commission for Children at Risk, Human Rights Watch, European Children's Trust, Rosstat Agency